What Went Down This Week: Dec 18-22

It’s all too much.

It was the Week from Hell—and Hell is far from empty. Get set for 2018. But first, let’s recap  last seven days.

First & worst, we had the attack of the GOP tax bill that screwed everybody from—well, everybody who won’t be celebrating New Year’s at Mar-a-lago. We told you the many ways this nightmare bill hurts reproductive health, including undermining Obamacare and making maternity care more expensive. And as always, it targets the most vulnerable.

Oops! Did we just say “vulnerable”? Now we’ll never work for the CDC. It came out this week that the Trump administration has given them a list of seven words they can never use in their reports—and “vulnerable” is one of them. So is “fetus.” Of course. Did we mention this was the Week from Hell?

This week saw yet another round of the now-ironically named Department of Health and Human Services trying to prevent detained immigrant teens from accessing abortion care. The courts forced DHHS to back off, but they show every intention of continuing to use these attacks as a means of harassment.

Oh, and DHHS is also hiding 99% of the public comments on rule changes that could allow religious groups to discriminate against transgender people or those seeking abortions.

And then it was all capped off by a Mexican cardinal announcing that the recent earthquakes were divine retribution for abortion and “gender ideology.” Remember last January when we were asking ourselves if things could get any worse? Well they did… but they can always get better. And we had some bright spots this week.

Two immigrant teens WERE given access to abortion care, and courts have consistently ruled in favor of the rights of people in that situation. Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf vetoed a 20-week abortion ban. And a federal court put the brakes on plans to allow your employer to dictate your birth control choices.

And at least the Worst Week Ever came at a good time. We all have the final week of the year to rest up and make sure that the weeks going forward keep getting better.   

And that’s the week that was.


It’s Our Week of Action: Join Us to #ExposeFakeClinics

Year-round LPJL is committed to exposing fake clinics, often known as crisis pregnancy centers or CPC’s. If you have never heard of them, THIS IS YOUR WEEK!

Anti-abortion zealots fund these CPC’s, that claim to provide free “pre-abortion” services and extra-special ultrasounds — basically they are temples erected to spew dangerous nonsense designed to guilt scared women into not having an abortion.

And what better way to spend pre-Halloween week than to shine an extra light on these manipulative fuckers! To learn more about the initiative go here, to watch our founder Lizz Winstead explain how to spot a fraud clinic click here, and to join the cause click here. Happy reviewing!

LPJL kicked off our expose fake clinics Week of Action with a hands on #ExposeFakeClinic project in Hartford, CT

Just two arms lengths from a legit clinic lurks one of these predatory Crisis Pregnancy Centers that tries to lure women who have appointments at the real clinic into their den of lies. So when the amazing folks at Hartford GYN (an awesome provider of comprehensive healthcare including abortion) reached out to ask if we could help patients differentiate from the fake one, we came, we saw, we painted the path to the real clinic a bright, beautiful yellow. Now clinic escorts and people who answer the phones can tell patients to “follow the yellow brick road” and you won’t have to click your heels three times to find reliable healthcare.

This awareness raising campaign is just one way the fuckery continues!


Crooked.com has published this leaked memo showing that our Agro tweeter-In-Chief  is trying to Make America A Dystopian YA Novel (Again). Check out this wish list/shit list of dumb things that Donald Trump wants to force onto women (doesn’t that list include Donald himself?)

**Extremely Daveed Diggs voice*** Highlights

–They want cut funding in half for Title X family planning for low-income families—leading to a million more pregnancies a year! Of course, they only have to give a crap until those million fetuses are actually born. 

–And they want to replace effective family planning with a scheme to get people using the “rhythm method.” If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically birth control that relies on a Ouija board. 

–They plan to completely end the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program which they say “doesn’t work.” Not unless you’re trying to prevent teen pregnancies. And that doesn’t seem to be their focus.

–And then replace the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program with abstinence education—which is essentially the Teen SEX Prevention Program! What could possibly go right? 

–And finally, they want to cut USAIDS family planning money, which goes to developing nations. And they can’t allow them to have more sane family planning than the US. 


Speaking of The Handmaid’s 2: The Return of Chucky — (Dammit, We Were Hoping the Sequel Would Turn Out Better) 

Jane Doe, the Texas immigrant seeking an abortion still hasn’t received medical treatment and this delay method the GOPunishers are using is almost as insane as their insistence that the “rhythm method” is a viable form of birth control. The ACLU is fighting the decision from an Appeals Court that further delays Jane Doe’s abortion. Here’s the latest, but follow along with the hashtag #JusticeForJane for updates as they come in.


LPJL Daily Takedown – July 17th, 2017

The Reality of Those Super Fun “Vacation Abortions” Republicans Are Always Talking About

“MY LAST RESORT” is NOT about a VACATION! Anti-choice zealots love to talk about the supposed “vacation abortions” that women are getting when they are FORCED to travel to get vital medical care. As this article explains, every year about 3,000 women have to come to Illinois to get abortion care because their home states make access virtually impossible. And those are the ones who are lucky enough to have the means to take off work and travel! People need access to affordable abortion care in their own communities. One of the many stories in this article is about regret. Regret is part of any choice… or lack of choice. We can’t let extremists frame regret as a reason to deny people the freedom to choose.


Teen Pregnancy Is at It’s Lowest”- America, “Hold My Beer”- Trump

PERMANENT ABSTAIN: God only knows how many unplanned pregnancies the suddenly pious Donald Trump has caused in his repulsive past, but he’s determined to cause millions more—and now to America’s teens! This Day-Glo Disaster wants to cut over $200 million in funding for teen pregnancy prevention programs at the same time that he’s throwing $277 million at ABSTINENCE ONLY programs! Look, if anything can get people to swear off sex, it’s the thought of Donald Trump—but abstinence STILL doesn’t work!


We Don’t Need A Crystal Ball to See What Defunding Looks Like…We Have Texas!

CAUTIONARY FAIL! Texas conservatives, always at the forefront of any shitty idea, are now a cautionary tale about what happens when you defund Planned Parenthood, slash funding for family planning, and close 80 clinics. SURPRISE! You get more teen pregnancies… AND more abortions! The rate of teen births in Texas is up 3.4%, even as it’s falling in states with less medieval methods. A study estimates there have been 2,200 unplanned pregnancies because of the actions. Oh, and two years after the funding cuts, Texas abortion rates are up 4.9%. Thanks to former Gov. Rick Perry and conservative lawmakers, Texas is a mess!


Schools Out For Summer…Or Forever for Wisconsin OBGYNs

TRAINING WRECK: A new Republican bill in Wisconsin attacks abortion access by blocking the University of Wisconsin-Madison from training resident doctors in how to perform abortions. Of course that leads to a fucking domino-of-dickdom effect in which UW-Madison loses its accreditation for OB-GYN training, and OB-GYN’s-in-training leave the state. 20 of 72 counties in Wisconsin are already without an OB-GYN! The author of the bill hates the fact that Planned Parenthood pays UW doctors to train OB-GYN residents at local clinics… but of course they HAVE TO because Wisconsin law prohibits any state money from going toward anything remotely abortion. So this law makes it illegal for UW docs to train residents anywhere except at a hospital… where it’s against the existing law. And then it all causes the UW to lose their OB-GYN accreditation, and gynecologists flee the state. Who knew a cheese-head could come up with such a diabolical plan?


Blessed Motherf*ckin Be, Iowa’s Fight Against Insane Undue Burden Laws Start Today

LONG 3-DAYS’ JOURNEY INTO NIGHTMARE: Today marks the start of court hearings to see if Iowa’s new 3-day waiting period for an abortion is constitutional. These waiting periods are used to deter people from exercising their abortion rights—and they’re devastatingly effective in rural states like Iowa where patients have to travel long distances for multiple appointments. Don’t let Iowa get away with forcing people to wait for their rights.  Reproductive justice delayed is reproductive justice denied!



NEXT UP- PITTSBURGH! We said goodbye to the wonderful Cleveland and arrived last night in PITTSBURGH ready for some action! Check Us out on City Paper’s Short List, so If you’re in town, get your ass down to  Mr. Smalls Funhouse on Wednesday July 19th! Doors at 7pm!

We pull out of Pittsburgh, and head off to Louisville for our LAST SHOW of the Vagical Mystery Tour on Saturday July 22nd. If you are in Louisville, join us for some bourbon and some Bevin Ball Bustin’!!  Get your tickets here!!

Stay tuned for more fun updates!

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 13th, 2017

Another Birth Control Denier Religious Nut Has Joined Trump’s Health and Inhuman Services Shitshow

RANCID STUFFING: The anti-choice juggernaut of repression has taken a big step forward in filling the eviscerated carcass of the Department of Health and Human Services, with a toxic stuffing of abortion opponents. We’ve been telling you how the Trump forces have steadily harassed the career professionals out of HHS and replaced them with a bowl of nuts like Charmaine “Abortion Causes Breast Cancer” Yoest and Teresa “Birth control is a hoax” Manning. The latest addition is new HHS senior lawyer Matthew Bowman, who argued a Supreme Court case AGAINST the ACA birth control benefits the Department is now supposed to be administering. Bowman represented Conestoga Wood Specialties, Inc. in a case heard by the Supreme Court alongside the notorious Hobby Lobby case, where the litigants claimed the Obamacare contraception mandate violated their rights to impose their religious beliefs on their employees. Bowman did that work as part of the  Alliance Defending Freedom which unleashes hordes of soulless attorneys to attack reproductive and LGBTQ rights. This troll has also made claims that I.U.Ds cause abortions and that contraception spreads measles. He’ll have plenty to talk about with Charmaine Yoest in the HHS cafeteria.


“Aloha” Means Hello, Goodbye & Go Fuck Yourself To Anyone Who Wants to Lie About Pregnancy Options

AN ISLAND OF SANITY in the shark-infested waters of anti-choice lying, HAWAII has a new law requiring phony “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” to stop trying to trick pregnant people into thinking they don’t have options. Hawaii says that these nutteries have to post signs informing their customers/victims that the state offers “immediate free or low-cost access to comprehensive family planning services.” Of course, even that’s too much for the CPC’s. A lawyer from Alliance Defending Freedom (see the story above about one of their own now working at HHS!) says “Freedom of speech also means the freedom to not express views that would violate one’s conscience.” It doesn’t mean freedom to HIDE FACTS YOU REFUSE TO ACCEPT from people seeking medical care!


Gov. Greitens Will Continue His Anti-choice Special Session, No Matter What The Cost (Over $73,000, To Be Exact)

MONEY FOR (WORSE THAN) NOTHING: We’ve been following MISSOURI’s Satanic saturnalia of anti-abortion pig vomit. The Show Me shits in the statehouse have been holding a special session for the sole purpose of fucking with repro rights and gutting regulations against discrimination. And the good folks of Missouri are paying for it in more ways than one. So far, it’s actually cost them $73,000 to have their rights shredded. It’s not cheap to house and feed the hungry, hungry hypocrites in the MO legislature!


Iowa Congressman Steve ‘Cantaloupe Calves’ King Wants To Help Build Up The Border Wall, By Tearing Down Poor and Pregnant People

SHOCK AND YAWN! More from the Look-At-Me Lunatic Fringe. IOWA Congressman Steve “The Mad” King, in his never-ending quest to keep the rabid dogs of the far right barking, has come up with another of his “See how in-their-faces I am!” proposals/provocations. He wants to fund Trump’s border wall using (GASP!!) money taken away from Planned Parenthood and food stamp recipients (who he says are obese anyway.) Got it Steve! You’re a badass dude who’s sick of baby-killing feminists and uppity brown ingrates. Now, Steve King really is crazy, so it’s not an act. But it is a sad and tired performance that he seems unable to get booked anywhere outside of Iowa. Time to bring the curtain down!




Come out, bring a friend, and tell your friend to bring a friend!

…In A Classic Twist, Enemy Of The EPA Becomes The Head Of The EPA

As part of our continuing Play of the Day series “Sauron’s Army” Lady Parts Justice League is exploring the key players Donald Trump has chosen to surround himself with. We’re taking a deep dark look at his advisors and the people being appointed to his cabinet, all of whom have a history of being strongly anti-choice.

Scott Pruitt – Position in Sauron’s Army: Denethor II (on his worst day).

You remember when Denethor, The Steward of Gondor, was totally losing it towards the end of The Return of the King (if not you better brush up on your LOTR because we are living it). Denethor is all, My son is dead, I’m going to burn him on this funeral pyre… And everyone else is like, Yeah but your son’s not dead though. That’s what Scott Pruitt is doing with science.

Scott Pruitt, who is Trump’s pick for EPA Administrator, already had his hearing and is on track to be confirmed in March. Pruitt, who is currently the Attorney General of Oklahoma, has sued the EPA multiples times. (!!!!!) He was part of a legal action against Obama’s Clean Power Plan which was designed to curb greenhouse gas emissions. When discussing overwhelming scientific evidence that human activity is causing the warming of the planet, Pruitt was quoted in saying “That debate is far from settled.” 

LET US REPEAT THAT BECAUSE IT BEARS REPEATING: The person who quite possibly will be the head of the EPA has sued the EPA on multiple occasions because he was like, yo bro, gas emissions, not that bad. So he’s legitimately an actual enemy of protecting the environment.

Pruitt has made his leanings (more like fall over-ings) clear during his time as OK (not-OK) AG. Besides his need to take a thick hot dump on the environment he has supported anti-choice legislation, fought against LGBTQ rights and against the Affordable Care Act.

A few examples…

Pruitt was like, Hey even though the Supreme Court struck down DOMA that doesn’t mean that Oklahoma has to offer benefits to gay married couples. Pruitt supports the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman.

Pruitt supported a bill that would limit medical abortions in Oklahoma. AND, this is one of our favorites, after the Supreme Court decided that two abortion related laws were unconstitutional, Pruitt’s office was like, we don’t care, let’s continue to enforce them for as long as possible. Classy.

In an EGGeptional (ugh, sorry) move, after California prohibited the sale of eggs from hens who were kept in horribly restrictive conditions, Pruitt joined in a lawsuit against them and then decided to investigate THE HUMANE SOCIETY. How incredibly inhumane.

I guess he just thinks all eggs should be restricted but not gas emissions. 

Graphic by Monica Mohan @MonicaMohanStudio

Grueling Sessions

Trump’s “pro-life” Attorney General nominee proudly associates with murderers–not the best qualification to be the highest law enforcement officer in the land.

We at LPJL have repeatedly exposed the misogynist, racist nightmare that is Attorney General nominee Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. During the first day of Senate hearings for lil’ Jefferson, Senator Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut did his part to expose him to anyone watching the hearings.

Blumenthal grilled Sessions about his ties to Operation Rescue–a vigilante organization of zealots who promote the execution of abortion providers. The Senator brought out a “Wanted” poster from Operation Rescue’s crusade against Kansas abortion provider Dr. George Tiller. Dr. Tiller was murdered by a man named Scott Roeder who frequently posted on OR’s website and was found with contact information for leaders of O.R. Then Operation Rescue argued that Roeder should be considered a political prisoner. Classy

O.R. President Troy Newman is an enthusiastic supporter of Jeff Sessions. Newman — who also endorsed Donald Trump — said he “couldn’t be happier” with Session’s nomination. And this is a guy who isn’t usually happy unless an abortion provider is dead. To quote our tweeting president-elect, SAD!

When Senator Blumenthal asked Sessions if he disavowed the endorsement of Operation Rescue, Jeff said, “I disavow any activity like that. Absolutely. And a group that would even suggest that is unacceptable.” If it seems to you that he didn’t actually reject the endorsement itself, then you’re not alone: Operation Rescue itself tweeted out “Sessions didn’t disavow our endorsement. He disavowed the violent actions @SenBlumenthal falsely attributed to us.”

Operation Rescue can’t separate themselves from the “violent actions” (read: murder and terrorism ) committed at their instigation. Jeff Sessions can’t (and won’t) separate himself from Operation Rescue. And Jeff is Trump’s boy. That’s a straight line from Trump to murder — and he hasn’t even taken office yet.

Linda McMahon: Shelob, the giant venomous spider who lurks in the darkness

In our new Play of the Day series Sauron’s Army,  Lady Parts Justice League will explore the key players Donald Trump has chosen to surround himself with: his advisors and the people being appointed to his cabinet, many of whom have a deep of history of being strongly anti-choice.

Today’s addition to Sauron’s Army is Shelob, the giant evil spider represented by Linda McMahon, professional wrestling mogul, repeat Senate race failure, and Donald Trump’s pick to head the Small Business Administration.

Of course, Trump’s nominee to the run the Small Business Administration would be a total disaster for small business–that goes with being part of Trump’s carny mirror world. And Linda McMahon is as uniquely unqualified as you would expect. Her wrestling empire exploited workers by forcing them to be independent contractors instead of employees. And the WWE actually drove many small businesses out of business by waging “relentless warfare” on smaller competitors.

But in addition to her anti-small business boner-fides, when it comes to reproductive rights, McMahon manages to be venomously anti-choice. That’s not always easy to find in a Northeastern conservative. And indeed, during her two disastrous runs for the Senate, McMahon did try to masquerade as a pro-choice Republican–as she would have to in order to have a shot at a Senate seat in Connecticut.

But McMahon’s true arachnid nature is evident in her support of restrictions on abortion rights such as parental notification and the ban on federal funding for abortion services. She also supported the Blunt Amendment, which would have allowed employers to deny birth control coverage to their employees. McMahon said “the issue that was being addressed was the fact that the government was trying to force religious institutions to be engaged in something that went against their beliefs.” Rick Santorum couldn’t have said it better.

Linda McMahon is an eight-legged freak lurking in the shadows to try and disguise her true nature. This SBA nominee is bad for business and bad for women. Connecticut women saw through her in both her Senate runs, with 60% of women voters rejecting her. Perhaps the Senate will do the same thing.