LPJL DAILY TAKEDOWN – OCTOBER 20TH, 2017

Who is the Alien Here? Meet the Body-Snatching Monster Who Is Denying a Pregnant Immigrant Teen Control of Her Own Body 

An appeals court has blocked a ruling that a detained and pregnant immigrant teen—whose case we’ve been reporting to you—should be allowed to exercise her abortion rights. Hearings are happening TODAY. You MUST read this ACLU takedown on the RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST that Trump put in charge of holding helpless immigrant girls hostage to the Uterus Invaders. It’s even worse than it sounds!  

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The Only Thing More Enraging Than the Immigrant Teen Story is the Rightwing Media “Reporting” on it by Labelling Her as “Illegal” and Reserving Humanity for Her Fetus

If you follow the twisted and racist logic of those who are denying this immigrant teen control over her pregnancy, she’s just the disposable vessel meant to contain the precious fetus until it’s actually born and no longer matters. Here’s a truly ugly article from the truly ugly people who reduce human beings to labels in order to elevate the fetus. 

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Why Are Abortion Rates Declining? Hint: It’s NOT Because Creepy Buzzkills Are Making It Harder to Get Birth Control

Abortion rates are down 25 percent. The anti-choice anti-pussy posse says it’s because they scream on sidewalks and create FAKE CPC clinics to fool abortion patients. And they’re SURE it couldn’t possibly be because of more accessible birth control because everybody knows birth control doesn’t work! Right. Here’s a Rewire piece to translate that into reality. 

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Here’s a Good Reminder of What Happens When the Government Lists Dentists and the Salvation Army as Adequate Alternatives to Planned Parenthood for Pap Smears or Abortion Care. 

What would happen if they really did “defund” Planned Parenthood and patients were left with the bizarre and useless “alternatives” to actual women’s healthcare that defunders come up with? This great Bustle article will haunt you with some of the nightmare possibilities. Avoid the nightmare and GET WOKE! 

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Ah’d Perfer It If Muh Childern Were Ass Dum Ass Me, Pleese

If ignorance is bliss, then some parents in North Carolina have checked into a stupidity Day Spa. The Tar Heel chapter of the “If we don’t teach kids about birth control, then they won’t have sex”  parenting club  managed to get a Planned Parenthood-sponsored sex ed program suspended because it had frank discussions of sexual preference and condom use. This is why we can’t have rational things. And do have teen pregnancy. 

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YOU Decide Who Decides What You Do with Your Uterus! Or Do You…

This great Rewire article shows exactly why YOUR bodily autonomy is ultimately up to the voters—which is why you need to be a voter. VIRGINIA’s new Attorney General will have a huge impact on repro rights there. Attorneys general matter. Do you know who your state AG is?

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Greetings from Alabama! Where The Pro White Supremacy Senate Candidate Shames the Pro Choice Candidate. 

When Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore isn’t waving guns around, demanding gay people be disappeared or proclaiming The Bible overrides the Constitution, of course he is in an abortion tailspin! Check out this unhinged clown’s campaign ad trying to make Democrat Doug Jones’s reasonable views on abortion seem… unhinged. Hoping it won’t work, but  in the bizarro world of Alabama politics you never can tell.

LPJL Daily Takedown – June 28th, 2017

The BCRA is B-CRAP

SHITTY AND SHITTIER: The Senate’s “healthcare” bill is actually worse for birth control than the crap-fest House bill! Under Obamacare, health plans must cover contraceptive services without a co-pay. Both the House and Senate bills make birth control more expensive and inaccessible by defunding Planned Parenthood. But the Senate bill also allows states to decide if birth control is even covered! And you can guess what types of “birth control” will be covered in Missouri—abstinence and prayer! Good news & Bad news: The Senate bill is currently stalled—while lawmakers try to make it even worse!

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The Frontiers of Anti-Choice Lawmakers are Getting Checked In Alaska

CHILL OUT, ALASKA! A lawsuit from Planned Parenthood has finally forced ALASKA to change the cold way it treats those seeking abortions after the first trimester. The state will no longer require a second doctor to get involved in abortions after 12 weeks. And it dropped the TRAPPY rule that blood and an operating room “appropriately staffed and equipped for major surgery” be ready for ANY abortion after the first trimester. Change may come at a glacial pace in Alaska, but at least the long night might be over!

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Spokane Public Schools Might Have a Change of Heartlessness on Sex Ed.

THE FACTS OF STRIFE: Conservative Uter-orcs in Spokane, Washington are trying to shit-can a progressive sex ed curriculum because it was developed with input from Planned Parenthood, because it mentions sex, oh, and BECAUSE JESUS. And they’re not too happy that the curriculum includes LGBTQ issues. One said the new plan would mean that “teachers with religious convictions about male-female roles and differences” could be forced to stifle their bigotry (paraphrasing.) Washington is a great, progressive state, but there are still pockets of douchebaggery. What’s in your state’s pockets?

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Ohio Tri-Masters of None Just Passed Yet Another Fucked Up Anti-choice Bill

COSTUME DRAMA in OHIO: It’s the HANDMAIDS vs. the MaNMAIDS! A bill to ban the safest and most common procedure used in abortions after the first trimester has been sent by an Ohio Senate committee to the full Senate… but not before the committee room hosted a RUNWAY CHALLENGE! Anti-choice forces (mostly male) occupied the front row, smartly decked out in fetus t-shirts, the traditional fashion choice of the intolerant. But the back of the room was lined with pro-choice fashionistas in the very latest VAG POWER accoutrements—HANDMAID’S TALE costumes! SASSY! The anti-choice forces got their bill passed, but pro-choice advocates definitely looked better.

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VAGICAL UPDATE!

YESTERDAY – First stop, deliver some lunch and some LOVE to Family Planning Associates in Chicago!

Second stop, VAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR AT METRO!

Ask anyone how last night’s show went in the Windy City last night and we will bet money they’d say they were BLOWN AWAY! Dina Nina Martinez did a kick-ass job hosting Joyelle Johnson, Leah Bonnema, Lizz Winstead, Alonzo Bodden & Recording Artist K’Valentine!

Lizz wrapped up last night’s show moderating a SPECTACULAR talkback with special guests Dr. Deborah Nucatola, Carrie Mathos, and Dr. Willie Parker!

Next Stop: ST LOUIS, MISSOURI!

The Press is falling in LOVE with the Vagical Mystery Tour. Check out what everyone’s saying about the hottest Resistance Comedy Tour in the country!

An Interview with Lizz Winstead and Things You Can Do to Help RIGHT NOW

On the ‘Vagical Mystery Tour’ with Lizz Winstead

How A Comedy Tour Is Helping Women Retain Their Reproductive Rights

 

Chastity Belt Tightening

You would think that conservatives — who are so brain-fried by the idea of abortion — would want to minimize the number of unwanted pregnancies, since most scientists agree that abortion is impossible without pregnancy. But social conservatives have a tortured relationship with science, let alone with logic.

 

They want to end abortion but favor abstinence-only sex education — a dim bulb idea that seems to be specifically designed to induce fetus creation on a truly industrial scale. Mother Jones‘s Becca Andrews wrote this great piece about the abstinence-only industry and experiencing the absurdity first-hand as a schoolgirl in Tennessee.

 

As you would expect from an idea based on talking young people out of having sex, the numbers for abstinence-only are not good. Kids who receive abstinence-only instruction are twice as likely to get pregnant than those who have comprehensive sex ed. And teens who sign virginity pledges are less likely to use protection when they do have sex… and they do have sex.

 

Look, there’s nothing wrong with telling kids not to do it. And it’s perfectly fine to stand on the beach and shout at the tides not to turn. But expecting either to work is downright stupid. Well, downright stupid seems to be the way to go–fully half the states now stress the abstinence approach to sex ed.

 

The only sane approach is to allow women to have a choice when it comes to reproductive rights–and instituting effective sex-ed programs that minimize the number of young women who need to make those choices.

 

BREAKING: Lady Parts Justice League Uncovers Anti-Catholic Girl Scout Merit Badge Program

Is that a Thin Mint or Feminist propaganda?! The Archbishop of St. Louis, Robert Carlson, is asking parishioners to LOOK ELSEWHERE with regards to the Girl Scouts. Go find some other gal groups to join because these young ladies are clearly dealing cookies for the devil!

ABP Robbie Rob believes — which means he believes that G*d believes — that Girl Scout Troops are in direct conflict with what it means to be a good Catholic. I mean, with some of the badges they are handing out for completed tasks, who could blame him…