LPJL DAILY TAKEDOWN – NOVEMBER 6th, 2017

HOW DARE YOU WIN! TRUMP’S DOJ LAWYERS DROPPED THEIR OWN ANTI-ABORTION BALL IN THE PREGNANT IMMIGRANT CASE, SO NOW THEY WANT TO PUNISH HER ACLU LAWYERS FOR KICKING THEIR ASS.

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IT’S GETTING EXTREME IN HERE! THE “CENTER” ON ABORTION RIGHTS KEEPS GETTING PUSHED OFF THE EDGE. READ HOW RIGHTWING RADICAL HAS BECOME THE NEW “MODERATE.”

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Department of Duh: Actually,  It turns out that birth control IS 100 percent necessary for health. Reason number 6782 you shouldn’t get reproductive health advice from the Puritanic scribblers  over at the Federalist. Refinery 29 lays it out here.

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AND FURTHERMORE … DOUBLE DUH! BIRTH CONTROL THAT’S “JUST” FOR BIRTH CONTROL NEEDS TO BE COVERED BY INSURANCE! WHO TF DOESN’T GET THAT?

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A CELEBRITY PASTOR ARGUED THAT MAYBE ABORTION IS A PERSONAL DECISION AND HOY BOY WE BET YOU CAN GUESS WHAT THE PEARL-CLUTCHERS OVER AT THE FEDERALIST HAD TO SAY ABOUT THAT! ABORTION IS MORAL, YOU SHITWICKETS, STOP TRYING TO MAKE ETERNAL DAMNATION HAPPEN!  

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WISCONSIN LAWMAKER ARGUES (ON VIDEO) THAT ABORTION IS LEADING TO A “LABOR FORCE SHORTAGE,” LOLOLOLOL SAYS EVERY UNEMPLOYED PERSON IN THE U.S., ALSO ANYONE WHO’S EVER TAKEN AN ECONOMICS COURSE, AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO JUST GOT THEIR FRIEND’S PASSWORD TO WATCH THE HANDMAID’S TALE ON HULU

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IN WHAT TWISTED ALTERNATE UNIVERSE DOES THIS SHIT EVEN EXIST? THE STORY OF MARQUETTE U’S “MEMORIAL OF THE UNBORN” GRAVEYARD IS EVEN MORE CRINGE-INDUCING THAN YOU COULD BELIEVE. YOU MUST READ THIS, FROM BUST.

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LPJL Daily Takedown – June 16, 2017

Missouri Senate Passes New Restrictions on Abortion in Late-Night Vote

Kansas City Star

NIGHT TERRORS! Anti-choice vampires in MISSOURI are stalking the night and passing harmful legislation under the cover of darkness! We’ve been keeping an eye on the shit-show that that’s going down in MISSOURI where the governor called a special session of the legislature purely to FUCK WITH ABORTION ACCESS. Last night the MO Senate passed a bill AFTER MIDNIGHT to avoid the hundreds of activists who have been rallying at the statehouse to oppose this fuckery. This bill mandates MORE inspections and investigations of abortion facilities, encourages clinic employees to turn on the clinic, and harasses pathologists who provide clinics with services. And it overturns a St. Louis law that outlaws discrimination against those who use birth control, have an abortion, or are pregnant! Some shit you HAVE to do in the dead of night!

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Seattle Storm announces partnership with Planned Parenthood

KIRO 7

SLAM DUNK! Fucking finally! For the first time, a professional sports team is partnering for an event with Planned Parenthood! The WNBA’s Seattle Storm is holding a Stand With Planned Parenthood night for July 18. $5 of each ticket sold will go to Planned Parenthood. AND there’s going to be an online auction featuring Storm swag! OH YAAASSS! At a time when PP is being wrongly harassed and attacked, it’s good to see a BIG LEAGUE sports team send the message that reproductive health and abortion care are a vital part of healthcare and that Planned Parenthood’s services are a godsend to millions of people! GO STORM!

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4 Laws That Are Putting American Moms At Risk

LA Times

SHE BLINDED ME With fake SCIENCE! The Department of Health and Human Services is now being run by whack-jobs who spread anti-science lies about contraception. Religious nuttery has replaced objective science. A new article identifies four women (!) in high positions at DHHS who do everything from denying that contraception works to pushing fucking insane abstinence doctrines. One called birth control “the mother of medical malpractice” that will ruin your uterus “for baby-hosting altogether.” WTF?!? Our nation’s birth control policies are being run by Puritan lunatics

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FROM THE ANTIS (Blocked Links)

Men Should Speak Out Against Abortion. Here’s Why.

LifeNews

MALE ORDER: The latest rage in anti-choice fucknuttery is to have men speak out against abortion. And we don’t mean the OLD WHITE MEN in statehouses and capital who write most of the anti-abortion, anti-woman laws that are constantly being foisted on us. They mean encouraging men to take part in marches, protests, and FUCKING HARASSMENT outside clinics. Guess what, dickweeds, there’s never been a shortage of self-righteous male fucks yelling and spitting at women trying to get abortion care. Dressing those pigs up as concerned male protesters won’t work! And besides, most dudes don’t exactly have procreation on their mind when they’re fucking. They’re only vaguely aware that’s how babies happen!

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Democrats’ Rabid Abortion Stance Is Endangering Their Appeal To Millennials

Federalist

WORD FROM THE FRONT: We at LPJL are PROUDLY and LOUDLY on the front lines of the fight to guarantee abortion rights. And we KNOW what it’s like out there! Recently the anti’s have been trying to convince themselves that support for abortion rights is endangering Democrats’ appeal to millennials! HELLO!  Most of the fucking GOP base was born before the invention of moveable type!  There’s more evidence that Hillary ran a child sex ring out of a pizza joint than there is that young people aren’t fully behind abortion rights. We’re out there every night, and so are THEY—in the audiences, in the speakouts and learning sessions, in front of the clinics, and IN THE STREETS, MOTHERFUCKERS! REPRODUCTIVE FREEDOM IS THE FUTURE! Come on out to the next LPJL show and bring that message home!

VAGICAL UPDATE!

Thanks for welcoming the #VagicalMysteryTour, Wichita! We spent the day with the incredible folks at Trust Women and brought down the house at Barleycorn’s! Jaye and Mehran joined the crew, and we said our goodbyes to Ian and Mehran (too soon!). Check out our FB Live recap. Next stop: Omaha! Tix & info: www.vagicalmysterytour.com

  

 

LPJL Daily Takedown – 5/24/17

Trump Wants to Slash All Federal Funding for Planned Parenthood (Bustle)

SHITSTORM ALERT! The proposed Trump administration budget is bad for everyone–and worse for women. It reads like a sadistic fantasy dreamed up in the bowels of some right-wing, anti-abortion, anti-women stink tank. It ELIMINATES ALL funding for Planned Parenthood. It converts Medicaid to block grants fucking DESTROYS MEDICAID, and it would put the cost of birth control and much of women’s health care out of the reach of many women. These are literally the most inappropriate appropriations ever proposed. It’s is more like a declaration of war than a budget proposal.

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Onslaught of Anti-Abortion Laws Approved in Texas (Courthouse News)

UPDATE ON THE REPRO-CALYPSE! The transformation of the once-great state of Texas to Dystopia is moving along rapidly. Texas lawmakers theocrats have passed a bill to do everything from mandate burial or cremation for fetal remains to outlawing the safest 2nd trimester abortion procedure. Texas women donned outfits from “The Handmaid’s Tale” to salute Texas’s steady march to the dystopian future.

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Listening To Post-Abortive Women Can Never Justify Abortion (The Federalist)

We were waiting for a response to this NYT opinion piece about listening to people who have had abortion and this Crackpot dude from The Federalist did not disappoint. THESIS: “Only listen to women who regret their abortions, not women who don’t. He then proceeds to discredited actual facts with fake scientific studies, manufactured by discredited quack organizations. WHY YOU NEED TO CARE: It is posted in a supposed legit conservative website. We need to know what they’re saying so we can fight back!

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D.C. Restaurant Thought This ‘Pill Cosby’ Cocktail Was a Good Idea (Huffington Post)

How many Yelp reviews will it take for the place to be held accountable? One? Two? Maybe fifty?

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Access to Birth Control Is Not a Religious Debate (Motto)

REPRO-JUSTICE MIC DROP FROM Jessica González-Rojas! (Not to be confused with the Jessica (Williams) below).

Here’s a great slap in the smug face of everyone who tries to make access to birth control into some kind of debate over morality or “religious freedom.” It’s a great opinion piece spelling out–for those too bigoted to understand–just why birth control is a matter of economics–pure and simple, stupid.

The LPJL Daily Takedown – 5/23/17

Catholics Challenge St. Louis’ ‘Abortion Sanctuary’ Law (US News/Associated Press)

In Missouri, “Show Me State” anti-choice zealots are busy showing everyone what assholes they are. A group of St. Louis Catholics are suing the city over an ordinance that prohibits discrimination against people who have had an abortion, or who use contraceptives, or who get pregnant outside of marriage–or what most of us just call “PEOPLE”!!! These St. Louis arch-fiends want the “religious freedom” to throw you out of your apartment for using condoms!

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Trump’s Abortion Policy Isn’t About Morality – It’s Coercion (Rolling Stone)

The Trump administration’s fuck-nuts expansion of the global “make-me-gag” rule now forces the right’s anti-abortion crap down INTERNATIONAL women’s throats. And of course, it’s the most exposed throats–the throats of poor women around the world. Just like with TRAP laws in the US–they can’t fool you into thinking abortion is wrong, so they’ll just make it unavailable.

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Right-wing attacks on Planned Parenthood are working: Clinics close in Iowa, cutting off low-income women from services (Salon)

Conserva-twits in Iowa have found their own ways of getting around last year’s Supreme Court decision that supposedly safeguarded abortion rights. These Corn-holes have a law that prohibits Medicaid patients from getting even non-abortion services from any clinic that offers abortion. 4 out of 12 Planned Parenthood clinics in Iowa have been forced to close, and that’s Plain Wrong.

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The Last Clinics (Vice)

Seven states (SEVEN!) have only one abortion provider left. Not only are anti-choice creeps bad at science, their sense of Geography is as bad as the acting in a popular 90s soap opera.

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Pregnant at 18. Hailed by Abortion Foes. Punished by Christian School. (NYT)

Thanks for deciding to have your baby–now get out! 

What do you get when you get into bed with anti-choice Christian hypocrites? YOU GET FUCKED! That’s what an unfortunate Christian School student in Maryland learned after she got pregnant. She went along with the doctrine of the school and didn’t pursue her right to an abortion. So as a punk-ass “thank you,” the school kicked her off the student council and barred her from graduation ceremonies. These “pro-life” dicks are shaming the very people they browbeat into believing their crap!

Northern Lowlight

Somebody in Alaska needs to CHILL OUT.

Alaska state Rep. David Eastman is a cold-hearted DICKFROST who inserted a chilling message into a positive resolution meant to support many people 

A bill moving through the Alaska House was intended to raise awareness about sexual assault and child abuse. … until Eastman FORCIBLY INSERTED an amendment calling abortion “the ultimate form of child abuse.” Cold, dude.

Suddenly a piece of totally non-controversial, feel-good legislation had a big feel-bad turd dropped into it. Rep. Eastman NO-DICK had to make it all about abortion–and all about about him. Alaska has problems with very high rates of sexual assault. And now the fate of a resolution meant to support victims is in jeopardy. It may die in committee now, or attempts may be made to strip Eastman’s amendment on the floor.

So who is this PERMA-DOUCHE? Eastman is a anti-choice crusader who has called abortion “an assault on motherhood.” He thinks that Alaska’s requirement that the state must fund medically necessary abortions for Medicare recipients has spawned some sort of Abortion Club Med:

“We have folks who try to get pregnant in this state so that they can get a free trip to the city, and we have folks who want to carry their baby past the point of being able to have an abortion in this state so that they can have a free trip to Seattle.”

And it seems Rep. SnowWhite doesn’t much like the more diverse colors in the land of the Northern Lights. He was the ONLY  member of the entire Alaska legislature to vote against a bill honoring black soldiers who worked on the Alaska Highway during World War II under conditions much harsher than white soldiers!

He was also the ONLY vote against a bill honoring Hmong and Lao veterans of the Vietnam War, and the ONLY lawmaker to oppose the nomination of the first Alaska Native as House speaker. Hmmmm….

Oh, and of course, he’s from Wasilla–the spawning grounds of Abominable Snow Monsters. Help support Lady Parts Justice League as we call out Big Dipshits like Rep. David Eastman.7

Un-Reality TV

If you’re looking for an escape from reality, check out how television treats abortion–because it has even less relationship to real life than Game of Thrones, Westworld, or Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

As shown in a recent study from the reproductive health research organization Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health, abortions on TV result in serious complications 42.5% of the time. That’s more than 20 times the rate of health problems that occur during real life abortion procedures. And it gets even more unreal: 5% of abortion patients on TV die–6,850 times the actual mortality rate for abortion procedures!! In 80 abortion plots that aired between 2005 and 2016, four characters died. In the much-safer real world, 0.00073 percent of abortion patients die.

And yeah, we’re talking about fiction, we know. But these radically skewed numbers have consequences. As an article in Slate discussing the findings put it, “TV shows that turn a routine medical service into a life-threatening risk are shaping the way millions of Americans imagine a procedure they know very little about.”

For instance: a Vox poll showed that 68% of respondents disagreed that abortion is “very safe.” In fact, it’s safer than giving birth–but only 19% of people knew that. Only 9 percent know that abortion is safer than a colonoscopy.

In 2015, ABC’s Scandal broke the mold by showing Olivia Pope actually undergoing a routine and safe abortion procedure. But in real life, the drama around abortion involves the struggle to get one.

Despite the dangers of abortions in TV-land, actually getting an abortion on the small screen is a cakewalk compared to what people have to go through in real life. A study in Feminism & Psychology found that on TV, “obstacles to abortion access are shown as easily overcome.” TV shows routinely “communicate that abortion is relatively easy to access.” Tell that to residents of Kentucky, who are desperately fighting to keep their last abortion clinic open.

Help LPJL spread the facts about abortion, so that we can appreciate the fiction for what it is.

Springtime for Hatred

Why do we have to do this shit? Because they’re constantly doing it on the other side–and they’re FULL OF SHIT. That gives them an advantage in a shit-slog.

March 1st marks the first day of “40 Days for Life,” an anti-choice, anti-woman, anti-human rights nationwide vag-hate fest. It’s like if SXSW, Coachella, and Bonnaroo were all rolled into one… if they catered only to a militant and angry fringe. It’s Burning Man becomes “You’ll Burn in Hell, Woman!”  

From now until April 9th, self-righteous hypocrites, misogynistic hate-mongers, and tragically misused child props will descend on women’s clinics all over America. There, they will conduct a campaign of harassment and hate under the guise of prayer, vigils, and, for some reason, fasting. (Evidently it’s easier to yell at clinic workers and frightened patients if you have hypoglycemia.)

As you probably already suspected, the “40 Days For Life” campaign is now connected to Donald Trump tiny-hand-in-pussy. Anti-choice mouthpiece LifeSiteNews reports that “40 Days For Life will be on the lookout for anti-Trump disruptors.” They quote 40 Days president Shawn Carney as saying, “The hatred of Donald Trump is being directed at the pro-life movement. The climate is much more hostile to our movement.” Yes, yes–you and your creepy orange mentor are the victims here. If the ascent of the Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief has done anything good, it’s to expose the real faces of these hypocritical fuckwads.

And this 40 Days hate-fest is only the first of a full calendar of anti-choice hysteria. This summer the vile and violent Operation Save America (formerly Operation Rescue National) will hold their annual “Summer of Justice.” This is a group with a long history of violence.

But we at Lady Parts Justice League are actively opposing these crusades of hatred by literally putting boots on the ground! This summer we’ll conduct another 8-week “Summer of Lady Parts Justice Tour.” We’ll be going to the same clinics that the anti’s are attacking, staging counter protests, and offering help and support to the beleaguered providers on the front line.
And we’ll need your help and support to make that happen–look for more details, here at LPJL!

Honk If You Hate Women

Whether it’s the subtle condescension of stick figure families, the dudes who manage to sexualize breast cancer or threatening warnings that a driver may have a gun, we all know that the junk people choose to put on their cars is an easy way to determine whether they are The Literal Worst™. So, of course, the ubiquitous license plates that read “Choose Life” are a really quick way to ID garbage people, decide who you’re never gonna sleep with and pick which car you’re gonna drunkenly key (we’re kidding) (maybe).

But did you know that, in addition to contributing to a culture of stigma and intolerance toward abortion, these license plates contribute financially to shady institutions that discourage, shame and spread misinformation (AKA Crisis Pregnancy Centers) in several states?

That’s right, we’re talking about CPCs again. If you’re new around these parts, CPCs are institutions run by anti-abortion extremists that advertise themselves as resources for women dealing with unplanned pregnancies — while actually pushing shame-based, fear-mongering and medically inaccurate materials. They frequently keep their websites vague and try to game search engines in order to trick women seeking abortions into unknowingly making appointments at their facilities that, again, do not provide abortions, do not provide accurate information about abortions and do not present abortion as a realistic, beneficial option for women.

Now back to the license plates: Reports from Quartz found that these “Choose Life” license plates are 29 states (according to the Guttmacher institute) and that “in 15 of these states, a portion of the proceeds go to funding anti-choice or crisis pregnancy centers (CPCs).”  And it’s not just chump change, either, as Choose Life says they’ve raised over $24 million since Dec. 31, 2016 (with a total reported number of choose life license plates sales and renewals nationally is over 1.1 million.)

As Quartz notes, “legal efforts to stop the Choose Life plate programs have, to date, been unsuccessful” due to arguments that they are protected as “free speech.” However, reproductive rights activists have been working to try and even the playing field by introducing family planning license plates in their states — including Virginia, Pennsylvania and Montana. They just have a lot of catching up to do.
In addition to being the worst thing to happen to vehicles since Truck Nuts, these plates are literally contributing to organizations who lie to women and chip away at their reproductive options. While it’s easy to overlook this bumper bullshit as just another annoying example of passive, backseat activism, you might just find yourself playing the worst road trip game ever next time you go for a drive. Sorry in advance for adding to your road rage.