LPJL Daily Takedown – July 18th, 2017

Just Another Tuesday: More Unconfirmed Science and Shaming Tactics

REMORSE CODE: Here’s the latest on the much-hyped “abortion regret” meme. As we’ve been telling you for some time, anti-choice crusaders love to push the lie that that there is widespread regret among people who choose abortion. And they like to use a scientifically bogus “abortion pill reversal” myth to frame their scheme. A San Diego doctor claims that he can “reverse” the increasingly popular medication abortion procedure after the patient has taken one pill of the two-pill process. There is a lag of one to two days between taking the pills. Here are the facts—he can’t. A certain percentage of abortions will fail in any case if the second pill is not taken. And here’s another fact—abortion patients do NOT change their mind halfway through. And the whole notion of “abortion regret” is being cynically manipulated by anti-choice people. Certainly there are a lot of conflicting emotions involved in any major life decision, but actual studies show that by far the most common emotion following an abortion is simply relief. The Anti’s need to stop trying to replace that relief with regret through their shaming tactics. 


The List of Things That Hurt Pregnant People Is Getting Super F*cking Long

COUNTRY MATTERS: If every pregnant person deserves the right to choice, then those that choose to go through with their pregnancy deserve the right to accessible and affordable maternity care. And increasingly, that’s just not available in rural areas. Due to declining population, 80 rural hospitals have closed since 2010, and over 200 maternity wards shut down between 2004 and 2014. Over half of rural counties in America don’t have hospital-based obstetrics. Mothers have less access to prenatal care, and the US infant mortality rate is the worst among developed countries. We need to value motherhood by making it voluntary AND safe for those who choose it!


Iowa’s Motto: Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain (but not for women, duh)

CRUSHING WAIT: Legal teams defending abortion rights in IOWA have a message for conservative lawmakers in that state—they be trippin’ if they think they can force those seeking abortions to make multiple trips to the clinic. Iowa has imposed a 72-hour waiting period for abortion procedures—forcing many in the largely rural state to travel long distances for more than one clinic visit. And right now lawyers for Planned Parenthood of the Heartland and the American Civil Liberties Union of Iowa are busy arguing a court case over these restrictions, pointing out that the waiting period puts an undue burden on poor women who can’t afford the travel or missed work. Waiting periods are one of the oldest tricks in the anti-choice book, but the clowns who oppose reproductive rights are still good at pulling out their old tricks along with all the new ones. Thanks to all of the legal eagles who keep up the fight against them! 

Florida Has the Chance to do This Right, Don’t Florida This, Florida!

MORE WAIT PROBLEMS! Meanwhile, FLORIDA is dealing with its own 24-hour mandatory waiting period for an abortion. That 2015 law has been put on hold by the Florida Supreme Court, but a judge is hearing arguments on it this week. Like even longer forced waits in other states, the law forces patients to make at least one extra trip to the clinic—for people who are hard-pressed for the time and money. Don’t let uterus-occupying bullies wait you out! Props to Gainsville Woman Care for taking this case on! 


 #WeShowUp – Rosé Salute To Illinois Activists 

TAKING ON THE GORE-GOYLES: What’s worse than an unwanted dick pick in your inbox? How about a bloody fetus on your commute? Yep, the nasty GORE-GOYLES who haunt busy intersections by waving bloody images of medical procedures were at it again, this time in Mokena, ILLINOIS. But once again they were met with SHEROIC counter-protesters who parried their SHOCK & SCHLOCK tactics with cold hard TRUTH! You can’t argue with a gory propaganda poster, but you can let the public know that there are people willing to stand up to this kind of intimidation and harassment. A huge shout out to everybody who is out there countering the gruesome message of the anti-choice ghouls! Let’s leave no gory fetus pic unanswered! 



LPJL’s Pittsburgh stop means drinks with the Allegheny Reproductive Health Center was a blast. We love our Indie providers and we’re so lucky to be able to take them out for a burger and a beer – or maybe a few beers because it seems we uterus tattooed everything in sight.

 Today we take our first action in the CPC campaign AND DID IT LIVE ON FB to show folks how easy it is to make a difference!

Plus Jill Sobule comes today for A SECOND ACTION and for our Pittsburgh show tomorrow night!!  If you are in the Burgh, come and join us at Mr Smalls Wednesday, doors 7pm.


LPJL Daily Takedown – June 16, 2017

Missouri Senate Passes New Restrictions on Abortion in Late-Night Vote

Kansas City Star

NIGHT TERRORS! Anti-choice vampires in MISSOURI are stalking the night and passing harmful legislation under the cover of darkness! We’ve been keeping an eye on the shit-show that that’s going down in MISSOURI where the governor called a special session of the legislature purely to FUCK WITH ABORTION ACCESS. Last night the MO Senate passed a bill AFTER MIDNIGHT to avoid the hundreds of activists who have been rallying at the statehouse to oppose this fuckery. This bill mandates MORE inspections and investigations of abortion facilities, encourages clinic employees to turn on the clinic, and harasses pathologists who provide clinics with services. And it overturns a St. Louis law that outlaws discrimination against those who use birth control, have an abortion, or are pregnant! Some shit you HAVE to do in the dead of night!


Seattle Storm announces partnership with Planned Parenthood


SLAM DUNK! Fucking finally! For the first time, a professional sports team is partnering for an event with Planned Parenthood! The WNBA’s Seattle Storm is holding a Stand With Planned Parenthood night for July 18. $5 of each ticket sold will go to Planned Parenthood. AND there’s going to be an online auction featuring Storm swag! OH YAAASSS! At a time when PP is being wrongly harassed and attacked, it’s good to see a BIG LEAGUE sports team send the message that reproductive health and abortion care are a vital part of healthcare and that Planned Parenthood’s services are a godsend to millions of people! GO STORM!


4 Laws That Are Putting American Moms At Risk

LA Times

SHE BLINDED ME With fake SCIENCE! The Department of Health and Human Services is now being run by whack-jobs who spread anti-science lies about contraception. Religious nuttery has replaced objective science. A new article identifies four women (!) in high positions at DHHS who do everything from denying that contraception works to pushing fucking insane abstinence doctrines. One called birth control “the mother of medical malpractice” that will ruin your uterus “for baby-hosting altogether.” WTF?!? Our nation’s birth control policies are being run by Puritan lunatics


FROM THE ANTIS (Blocked Links)

Men Should Speak Out Against Abortion. Here’s Why.


MALE ORDER: The latest rage in anti-choice fucknuttery is to have men speak out against abortion. And we don’t mean the OLD WHITE MEN in statehouses and capital who write most of the anti-abortion, anti-woman laws that are constantly being foisted on us. They mean encouraging men to take part in marches, protests, and FUCKING HARASSMENT outside clinics. Guess what, dickweeds, there’s never been a shortage of self-righteous male fucks yelling and spitting at women trying to get abortion care. Dressing those pigs up as concerned male protesters won’t work! And besides, most dudes don’t exactly have procreation on their mind when they’re fucking. They’re only vaguely aware that’s how babies happen!


Democrats’ Rabid Abortion Stance Is Endangering Their Appeal To Millennials


WORD FROM THE FRONT: We at LPJL are PROUDLY and LOUDLY on the front lines of the fight to guarantee abortion rights. And we KNOW what it’s like out there! Recently the anti’s have been trying to convince themselves that support for abortion rights is endangering Democrats’ appeal to millennials! HELLO!  Most of the fucking GOP base was born before the invention of moveable type!  There’s more evidence that Hillary ran a child sex ring out of a pizza joint than there is that young people aren’t fully behind abortion rights. We’re out there every night, and so are THEY—in the audiences, in the speakouts and learning sessions, in front of the clinics, and IN THE STREETS, MOTHERFUCKERS! REPRODUCTIVE FREEDOM IS THE FUTURE! Come on out to the next LPJL show and bring that message home!


Thanks for welcoming the #VagicalMysteryTour, Wichita! We spent the day with the incredible folks at Trust Women and brought down the house at Barleycorn’s! Jaye and Mehran joined the crew, and we said our goodbyes to Ian and Mehran (too soon!). Check out our FB Live recap. Next stop: Omaha! Tix & info: www.vagicalmysterytour.com



Dial “M” for “Mordor”

Mordor is on the march!

Here LPJL we’ve been trying to keep you informed about the dark forces being mustered by the gathering Trump administration using the handle “Sauron’s Army.”  Well this week Senate confirmation hearings are being held on the first batch of these monsters.

Senate Republicans under the Turtle Lord Mitch McConnell are trying to ramrod Trump’s nominees through the confirmation process without giving the Office of Government Ethics time to properly review them. Maybe the swamp creatures that Trump is populating his administration with haven’t been properly vetted, but they’ve been exposed to anyone who cares to look.

First out of the shit-chute is Attorney General nominee Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III–a man named after not one, but two secessionist traitors who took up arms against the United States. We nailed him as the Witch-King of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgul. For those of you not versed in Tolkien-speak, he’s a major asshole.

Jeff doesn’t think that grabbing a woman by her genitals falls under the definition of sexual assault. He opposed the Violence Against Women Act. And his vitriolic opposition to abortion earned him a lifetime 0 rating from NARAL and a slot co-chairing the 40th anniversary bash for Americans United For Life.

This is where you come in, virtuous creatures of Middle Earth. Get on your Hobbit-phones or the Elvish-net or whatever else functions as social media in the realms of Endor. Put the Senate Republicans on notice that you won’t allow these hearings to be a mockery of the term “confirmation.” And help bolster the resolve of Democratic Senators to keep the heat on. Even if they don’t have the votes to sink these nominations, they can hold them up to scrutiny that will make it harder to put their anti-woman agenda into action.

It’s on. Time to cry bloody Mordor.

Dealing With Shame. Guest Blogger: Pete Lee (Comedian and Masturbation Survivor)

I want to share my masturbation story. It’s not a story with a happy ending… despite what masturbation advocates may tell you. No, the real story of masturbation is one of shame… shame, confusion, and an overwhelming sense of regret.

You don’t feel the shame right away after your masturbation. There are too many conflicting emotions. You just want to forget what you just did to yourself… and to the precious life that you ejected from your testicles.

But soon enough, it hits you. Everything seems to remind you of your masturbation. The laughter of young children at a playground just torments you with thoughts of your wasted sperm–sperm that will never get the chance to laugh and play on a swingset.

Hollywood glamorizes masturbation. In our permissive society, it’s just something that people do if they’re “hip” or “cool.” But they don’t talk about the messy aftermath of a masturbation… and the stains that never go away.

I want young men who are thinking about masturbating, or who may be masturbating right now, to picture me when they do it. I want them to think about what I did to myself, to picture me doing it. Maybe, just maybe, that will make them stop what they’re doing. If it does, then everything is worth it.

When you perform a masturbation, you’re not thinking of the years of shame and remorse that are going to follow. The men in this video certainly weren’t. And now they’re sorry. Listen to their stories, think about mine–and make your own decision. I pray it’s the right one.


Watch more Lady Parts Justice League videos on Youtube.

Heels on Wheels


Lies our parents told us: In the old days, when kids asked where babies come from–and you didn’t want to get into the whole deal about motile sperm surrounding a giant egg like so many Starfighters going after the Death Star–parents would tell their kids that “the stork” brought babies. That made a little sense in Central Europe, where migratory storks nest on rooftops. In America, you might as well have told kids that babies come from bigfoot fucking a unicorn.

The point is that the whole deal with “the stork” was a convenient lie about childbirth. That makes it a perfect symbol for the “Save the Storks” organization. Their whole deal is lying about the options pregnant women have. Instead of telling fairy tales to kids, they’re telling twisted stories to confused and frightened women with the intent of shaming them.

“Save the Storks” criss-cross America in smarmy “stork buses,” lurking outside abortion clinics, offering free ultrasounds. They’re mobile versions of those phony pregnancy crisis centers, using a combination of guilt and lies to coerce women into having babies if they want them or not.

According to their website, they’ve raised 2.7 million dollars and have put 20 stork buses on the road (with 20 more “on the way.”) Hmmm… those are VERY expensive buses. Maybe the Save the Storks people are telling as many lies to their donors as they’re to the women they lure into the vans.


Long Day’s Journey Into Rights


YAAASSSSS, Irish women! Wanna know what’ll happen if we allow anti-abortion doucheflaps to drag various US states into a retro swirlie of misoggy?  CHECK. IT. OUT.

Two mighty Irish women live-tweeted a 48-hour ROADTRIP (under the Twitter handle @TwoWomenTravel) from Ireland–where abortion is BANNED–to the United Kingdom so that one of them could have an abortion. WUT? Their tweetstorm broke the internet. SWERVE! They posted pics and udderly established ruleage.

The Republic of Ireland has a constitutional amendment banning abortion except to save the life of the mother. UM, NO. So what do women do? The UK’s Department of Health’s sez that 3,451 Irish women came to the UK for an abortion in 2015. That’s almost 10 a day, every day. Irish actress Tara Flynn, who spoke up about her trip to the Netherlands in 2006 for an abortion, said the Irish law “doesn’t stop women in crisis accessing abortion, it simply makes it less safe.”

CHECK. PLEASE. She might as well have been talking about laws in bookoo US states–laws that make abortion impossible to access for chumba chunks of the country. The only difference here is that women can drive for hundreds of miles instead of Aering Lingus. It can happen here. It IS happening here. Thanks for inspo, Celtic Warriors.

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 2.19.16 PMWe told you about the douche-abolical plots by abortion foes in many states to require that fetal remains from abortion procedures be given full burial or cremation. The mandate would make  abortion infinitely more unaffordable and unavailable.

Now anti-choice fear-mongers are gearing up to push for these ghoulish laws with scare tactics that go from the ridiculous to the fucking ridiculous. And when it comes to anti-abortion zealots, no place does fucking ridiculous quite like Texas. Carol Everett from the anti-abortion cabal The Heidi Group has been on newscasts in Texas claiming that without mandatory burial or cremation of fetal remains, Texans will be in danger of catching HIV or various STD’s from the water supply. No, seriously. It’s right here.

That would make some sense if we were talking about disposing of fetal remains in municipal reservoirs, office coolers, or in the margaritas at Ruby Tuesday. But Texas and all states already have strict guidelines about the disposal of medical waste that abortion providers must comply with. (That sort of “the Plague is coming!” tactic is standard operating procedure for Carol Everett. Here’s a clip of her defending TRAP laws by invoking the “Ebol-eye” outbreak!)

Texas is currently trying to impose the mandatory burial or cremation of fetal tissue by making it a new rule from the Texas Department of State Health Services. That avoids all the messiness of actually passing legislation, but the public does get to comment on rule changes in Texas before they go into effect. The hearings for the “bury the fetus” rule took place on August 4th.

And of course, for every medical professional who spoke to oppose the rule, the anti-choice forces put up an “activist” to provide misinformation, lies, fear, and the kind of paranoid fantasy that abortion opponents love to spin. David Walls, the Director of Operations at Texas Values provided a statement saying in part: “The rules will ensure that the bodies of aborted babies are treated with the respect they deserve and are no longer callously treated like medical waste and disposed of by grinding and discharging into a sanitary sewer system.”    

Seriously? “…grinding and discharging into a sanitary sewer system”??? Again, fetal tissue is not disposed of like some kind of depraved serial killer dismembering the bodies of his victims in the back of a butcher shop… as much as anti-abortion lunatics may believe that. Fear tactics are the tool of those who don’t have facts on their side. People like Carol Everett should scare us, but not for the reasons she wants to scare us.


pablo (7)

Hi Friends, It’s Lizz here!

YAAAASSSS! OK, not only has the Supreme Court ruled–but their ruling RULED!!! in a way usually reserved for Prince or the soundtrack to Hamilton. I mean like, if the original Roe v Wade ruling was When Doves Cry then this was at least 1999. Or if Roe v Wade was My Shot then this was at least Alexander Hamilton. I’m saying it’s good.

In Whole Woman’s Health v. Hellerstedt, the Court ruled on Texas’s dishonest TRAP laws–laws that are so specifically designed to shut down abortion clinics that anyone can see it. The question was whether the Supreme Court would acknowledge that reality, or just go along with the lies of the woman-haters who set these TRAPS.

And the Court ruled that those laws are a pile of wet armadillo shit! They voted 5-3 that the laws placed an unconstitutional “undue burden” on women who wanted an abortion. This ruling is a step toward undoing that undue burden.

Ever since Roe v Wade became law in 1973, anti-abortion forces have been chipping away at it. And a lot gets chipped in 43 years. Occasionally the Supreme Court has to step back in and either mitigate the damage… or let the chips fall. And you never know which way it’s going to go. This time, in the most important abortion rights ruling since 1992, the Court chose to once again uphold Roe v Wade.

The tactics taken by abortion opponents with TRAP laws like those in Texas made the patently bullshit argument that they were just protecting women’s health with the restrictions. HELLO! If you want to protect women, you don’t saddle abortion providers with bat crap rules about closet size and the types of shrubbery in the landscaping. You don’t force half the clinics in the state to close for absolutely no reason. You don’t cause the wait for an abortion in Texas to go from 4 days to 16, and as many as 23! And if you really want to protect women, you don’t pass laws that cause delays–delays that end up increasing the number of second trimester abortions by 86 percent. That causes a huge increase in the cost and difficulty of an abortion–and that’s all that these laws were really intended to do, even if it made women less safe.  

Fortunately, the Court saw through that and stepped in.

While this ruling is cause for relief, it doesn’t relieve us of continuing the struggle to safeguard women’s rights from a continuous shitstorm. There are TRAP laws in other states that differ enough in details from the Texas laws that they won’t be automatically struck down by this ruling. Yes, the ruling does provide an important legal precedent in the fights to overturn those laws, but those fights still need to be waged.

And although these laws were only in effect since July of 2013, the damage they did to abortion rights in Texas will take decades to repair. The over 20 clinics that were shut down won’t be reopening soon–and many never will. Leases have been lost, equipment sold off, and most importantly, dedicated abortion providers have been forced to move on. The amount of damage to the safe abortion infrastructure in Texas is everything that the creeps who designed these laws hoped it would be.

So celebrate this ruling! We avoided major break on the legal levee that protects a woman’s Constitutional rights. But we have to remember that behind that levee there are still the constantly churning flood waters of conservative douchebaggery.

So get ready for that. But tonight, we party like it’s 1973.

Lizz Winstead,
Founder, Lady Parts Justice League