LPJL Daily Takedown – July 19th, 2017

Professional Stalker David Daleiden #CantStopWontStop Spreading Lies

UTTER CONTEMPT: Slimeball propagandist David Daleiden has just been held in contempt of court for continuing to release illegally obtained and heavily tampered-with videos. Da-LIE-den is one of the vidiots from the so-called Center for Medical Progress who released tapes in 2015 that were doctored to indicate Planned Parenthood was selling fetal remains. The tapes were shown to be bullshit and PP was cleared of any wrongdoing. And now this virtual stalker is charged with 15 felonies for secretly recorded videos—videos that his lawyers CONTINUE to publicize in defiance of a court order. All of the illegal activity involving these tapes has been committed by Daleiden and the people who made them!  


 Not Real Science 101- An Intro to “Abortion Reversal”

REVERSE ENGINEERING: Anti-abortion myth-makers have been busily concocting another lie to foist on the public—one that we at LPJL have been warning you about. It’s the pseudo-scientific turd pie of being able to “reverse” medication abortions by intervening in the 24 to 36 hours between the taking of the two pills that are used in the procedure. The “science” behind reversal is anecdotal quackery being pushed mostly by one obsessed doctor. But thanks to his fairy tales, now 10 states require abortion providers to LIE TO PATIENTS and tell them that medication abortions can be “reversed.” Anti-abortion scammers are hiding behind fake science the way they hide behind phony efforts to “help women” with TRAP laws that only harm patients. If anti-choice people had anything good to say, they could say it without hiding behind lies. 


Helping #ExposeFakeClinics: A Tutorial

The More You Know, The More You #ExposeFakeClinics

DON’T GET FAKED OVER by fake clinics! And learn how to expose them to protect others! July 17 to 26 is Expose Fake Clinics Week, where we shine a light on the anti-choice maggots under the slimy rock of deception. Fake clinics are those “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” (CPC’s) that fool people seeking abortion services or information into thinking they’re an actual medical facility. Then the unwitting victims are deluged with lies and shaming designed to pressure them out of making their own decisions. And of course these shame-mills are generously funded by your tax dollars in many states. Texas alone has thrown millions to these scamsters. LPJL IS FIGHTING BACK AGAINST THESE HORRIBLE PLACES, in fact check out yesterday’s protest in Pittsburgh in our Vagical Mystery Tour update below to see what LPJL is doing to fight back! 


Land of the Semi-Free, Home of the State by State Attack on Repro Rights

STATES OF EMERGENCY! While most of the media is transfixed by the shit-show going on in Washington, the real work of building an evil empire of theocratic hate and misogyny is going on at the state level. And reproductive rights are a prime target. In 2017 alone, 28 states have tried to put more restrictions on abortion, with many of them aiming to eliminate it entirely. Even Texas, which had their HB2 slapped down by the Supreme Court, went right back to more weasel-work to undermine abortion rights. There are efforts all over the country to ban the safest and most common 2nd trimester abortion procedure, force fetal tissue “burials,” and make it harder for minors to exercise choice. And taxpayer money continues to be wasted on fake clinics and abstinence programs. That’s why LPJL works tirelessly to inform you about what’s happening in YOUR state! 


From the Antis: Can You Believe Planned Parenthood Thinks Even SEX WORKERS Deserve Healthcare?

TRAFFIC SCAM. Jeezus! Is there any depth anti-abortion hate-mongers won’t sink to? They try to smear abortion care providers as abetting sex trafficking when the providers offer possibly life-saving care to sex workers, including those who may be caught up in trafficking. These ghouls send undercover “journalists”/stalkers to clinics posing as pimps. When the clinics offer to help the victims, they’re portrayed as being involved in “underage sex trafficking.” I guess the “pro-life” approach would be to cast them out for their sins and let them rot with whatever medical problems their victimhood has caused them. Compassion means care, not judgment, dickwads! 



Our LPJL Pittsburgh stop has gone next level as we #ExposeFakeClinics

Spoiler Alert: Fake clinics hate when you come armed with facts – especially when those facts come from badasses in costumes

Check out the fun we had here and once you’re all riled up – come to Mr Smalls TONIGHT, doors 7pm!


LPJL Daily Takedown – June 19th, 2017

SHOCKER: “Democratic” Governor John Bel Edwards Pulls a Dick Move Against Women

SWAMP THINGS: LOUISIANA is one of those states where knuckle-draggers from both parties work together to attack abortion rights in a BITE-PARTISAN manner. John Bel Edwards (the Democratic Governor who keeps forgetting he’s a Democrat) has signed a Republican-sponsored bill making parental consent rules tougher on young Louisianans who need an abortion. An underaged unmarried person (because that’s a thing) already needs a notarized statement from their legal guardian to get an abortion. Now, that guardian must also cough up government-issued ID! Gee, what a great way to target immigrants, the poor, AND anyone wanting to access their abortion rights!


Birth Control Prevents Two Things – Pregnancy and Lawmakers from NOT creating new assholes from their DNA.

ST. LOUIS BLUES: We’ve been keeping an eye on the Missouri misogyny hobbyists who are literally working overtime (in a special session) to roll back reproductive rights—including overturning a St. Louis city ordinance that bans discrimination against anyone who has an abortion, uses birth control, or becomes pregnant.


Ken Midkiff: Another White Man Given an Op-ed on Abortion – and Spoiler Alert- he wants to be your Labial Gatekeeper

MORE MESS-OURI: The “Show Me” State doesn’t seem to be showing us anything good. Today the ongoing fuckery in Missouri gives us a twofer. The latest from the Columbia Missourian features yet another op-ed on abortion… surprise, surprise, by yet another aging white guy. This one opines about how abortion is a “matter of beliefs.” No, my SILVERBACK friend, Abortion isn’t a matter of beliefs, it’s a matter of FACTS. When will these people learn Government would be so much better off if we could “pray the pray away.”


What Drought? California Might Make it Rain ($20 Mill, to be Exact) on Health Clinics if Trump’s Bullshit Passes

GUARDIANS AT THE (GOLDEN) GATE: What Drought? California might make it rain ($20 million, to be exact) on health clinics in the Golden State. The money would go to Planned Parenthood and other clinics threatened by Trump cuts and attacks on funding for women’s health and contraception coming out of Republican-occupied Washington. California grows its share of nuts, like CA Assembly member Shannon Grove, who blamed the drought on “God’s wrath over abortion.” But now less shitty heads are prevailing, and California will help fund reproductive care… and hope there’s not a rain of frogs.


Abortion Clinic Violence Happens Once in a Blue Moon, According to Robin Engel. NO BIG DEAL

We need a BUFFER ZONE! 10 anti-abortion protesters had to be arrested outside a LOUISVILLE clinic during an incident in May. The putrid politicos who are inciting these thugs claim that kind of shit is “one incident” that’s “being blown out of proportion.” This isn’t something that happens rarely. Outside agitators and homegrown nutcases daily HARASS AND HARANGUE patients and clinic workers. And they’re fighting attempts to get Louisville to establish an 8-foot buffer zone to provide at least SOME protection. LPJL will be in town to help! Come on out and show your support at our Vagical Mystery Tour show in Louisville—or look for a show in your area!



YOUR DAILY SHAME: Poor Maddi Runkles! The 17-year-old got pregnant and when she toed the conservative line and decided to go through with the pregnancy, her “CHRISTIAN” school banned the 4.0 student from the graduation ceremony! As if that wasn’t bad enough, local MARYLAND anti-choice VULTURES swooped in and doubled down on the shame-fest by giving Maddi her a separate graduation ceremony. This is Summa Cum A LOTTA bullshit! Unlike other young women forced into her situation, Maddi will at least find a degree of support—as long as the ANTI’s think she has a big future in being used as PROPaganda.



The Vagical Mystery Tour spent the weekend in Omaha! You’d think after driving in a van for hours, the LPJL team would want a break from getting behind wheels of any kind. NAH. In fact, we brought our friends from the Bellevue Health Clinic out for a little afternoon go-cart racing followed by yet another VAG-TASTIC night of stand up comedy! Comedians Alex English, Joyelle Johnson, Aparna Nancherla, Jaye McBride & Lizz Winstead delivered the funny on silver platters and musician Tina Schlieskie brought it home! What an honor it was also to have Dr. Leory Carhart in attendance and part of the Tour’s talkback – informing the community on what they can do to support one of the few abortion clinics remaining in Nebraska.

LPJL Daily Takedown – June 16, 2017

Missouri Senate Passes New Restrictions on Abortion in Late-Night Vote

Kansas City Star

NIGHT TERRORS! Anti-choice vampires in MISSOURI are stalking the night and passing harmful legislation under the cover of darkness! We’ve been keeping an eye on the shit-show that that’s going down in MISSOURI where the governor called a special session of the legislature purely to FUCK WITH ABORTION ACCESS. Last night the MO Senate passed a bill AFTER MIDNIGHT to avoid the hundreds of activists who have been rallying at the statehouse to oppose this fuckery. This bill mandates MORE inspections and investigations of abortion facilities, encourages clinic employees to turn on the clinic, and harasses pathologists who provide clinics with services. And it overturns a St. Louis law that outlaws discrimination against those who use birth control, have an abortion, or are pregnant! Some shit you HAVE to do in the dead of night!


Seattle Storm announces partnership with Planned Parenthood


SLAM DUNK! Fucking finally! For the first time, a professional sports team is partnering for an event with Planned Parenthood! The WNBA’s Seattle Storm is holding a Stand With Planned Parenthood night for July 18. $5 of each ticket sold will go to Planned Parenthood. AND there’s going to be an online auction featuring Storm swag! OH YAAASSS! At a time when PP is being wrongly harassed and attacked, it’s good to see a BIG LEAGUE sports team send the message that reproductive health and abortion care are a vital part of healthcare and that Planned Parenthood’s services are a godsend to millions of people! GO STORM!


4 Laws That Are Putting American Moms At Risk

LA Times

SHE BLINDED ME With fake SCIENCE! The Department of Health and Human Services is now being run by whack-jobs who spread anti-science lies about contraception. Religious nuttery has replaced objective science. A new article identifies four women (!) in high positions at DHHS who do everything from denying that contraception works to pushing fucking insane abstinence doctrines. One called birth control “the mother of medical malpractice” that will ruin your uterus “for baby-hosting altogether.” WTF?!? Our nation’s birth control policies are being run by Puritan lunatics


FROM THE ANTIS (Blocked Links)

Men Should Speak Out Against Abortion. Here’s Why.


MALE ORDER: The latest rage in anti-choice fucknuttery is to have men speak out against abortion. And we don’t mean the OLD WHITE MEN in statehouses and capital who write most of the anti-abortion, anti-woman laws that are constantly being foisted on us. They mean encouraging men to take part in marches, protests, and FUCKING HARASSMENT outside clinics. Guess what, dickweeds, there’s never been a shortage of self-righteous male fucks yelling and spitting at women trying to get abortion care. Dressing those pigs up as concerned male protesters won’t work! And besides, most dudes don’t exactly have procreation on their mind when they’re fucking. They’re only vaguely aware that’s how babies happen!


Democrats’ Rabid Abortion Stance Is Endangering Their Appeal To Millennials


WORD FROM THE FRONT: We at LPJL are PROUDLY and LOUDLY on the front lines of the fight to guarantee abortion rights. And we KNOW what it’s like out there! Recently the anti’s have been trying to convince themselves that support for abortion rights is endangering Democrats’ appeal to millennials! HELLO!  Most of the fucking GOP base was born before the invention of moveable type!  There’s more evidence that Hillary ran a child sex ring out of a pizza joint than there is that young people aren’t fully behind abortion rights. We’re out there every night, and so are THEY—in the audiences, in the speakouts and learning sessions, in front of the clinics, and IN THE STREETS, MOTHERFUCKERS! REPRODUCTIVE FREEDOM IS THE FUTURE! Come on out to the next LPJL show and bring that message home!


Thanks for welcoming the #VagicalMysteryTour, Wichita! We spent the day with the incredible folks at Trust Women and brought down the house at Barleycorn’s! Jaye and Mehran joined the crew, and we said our goodbyes to Ian and Mehran (too soon!). Check out our FB Live recap. Next stop: Omaha! Tix & info: www.vagicalmysterytour.com



LPJL Daily Takedown – June 6, 2017

Delaware House Votes on Bill Protecting Abortion Rights

Washington Post

GOOD NEWS FROM SMALL PLACES—Little DELAWARE has taken a HUGE step forward with a bill that will keep abortion legal in Delaware if Roe v. Wade is ever overturned. The bill removes any restrictions on abortion before a fetus reaches viability. Finally, a little sanity from the states! Delaware was the first state to ratify the US Constitution—and it looks like they’re still pretty fucking into it!


Texas Bans the Safest, Most Common Abortion Procedure After 13 Weeks

San Antonio Current

TEXAS ABORTION RIGHTS GET THROWN UNDER THE OMNIBUS! Texas’s hateful SB8 bill is a veritable fountain of FUCK YOU for abortion rights, starting with the fact that it bans the safest, most common abortion procedure after 13 weeks. And Texas keeps throwing up roadblocks to make sure nobody could possibly get an abortion BEFORE 13 weeks. SB8 is like Texas’s unconstitutional HB2—times four!


Anti-Abortion Democrats Put Women at Risk


IT’S ABORTION RIGHTS, STUPID! Louisiana is becoming a sad example of what happens when Democratic politicians abandon abortion rights. Dem Governor John Bel Edwards has signed at least seven bills severely restricting abortion access as the number of clinics in Louisiana has gone from seven to only three. And it’s sapping the soul out of the Louisiana Democratic Party.

Democrats who want to ignore or even oppose abortion rights to govern on economic issues don’t get it—ABORTION IS AN ECONOMIC ISSUE! Women who can’t access abortion are three times as likely to end up in poverty. DEMS! YOU CAN’T SUPPORT EQUALITY WITHOUT SUPPORTING ABORTION RIGHTS!


“This is a war”: Inside the global “pro-family” movement against abortion and LGBT rights

Open Democracy

THIS IS NOT A DRILL! While Democrats get wishy-washy about supporting abortion (see above)—CONSERVATIVES ARE GOING TO WAR. Speakers at the World Congress of Families summit/hate orgy declared “THIS IS A WAR!” as they vowed to battle abortion, rights for women and LGBT people, and the BRADY BUNCH (really!) We can’t ignore people who say they’re going to war with us, or we’ll lose our rights, our freedoms, AND the Brady Bunch.


Colorado governor signs bill allowing women to get 12-month birth control prescriptions

The Denver Channel

We’re ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH over Colorado’s decision to allow women to get 12-month birth control prescriptions! Before this, you could only get one or three month prescriptions. HELLO? You can’t practice birth control “most of the time” any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. In a world where the anti’s are attacking even birth control, we just wanna say THANKS, COLORADO! And now, here’s Eunice’s take on it:


Vagical Mystery Tour Update!

Today on the Tour LPJL and friends are lending helping hands to the Jackson Women’s Health Organization in Jackson, Mississippi – and let’s just say, Comedian Ian Harvie has QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERS.

ALSO! More exclusive video coverage during clinic escorting in Birmingham! No sleep till equality!


The F.A.C.E Don’t Wanna Hear It.

ICYMI: This past saturday,  Ten anti abortion extremists were arrested in Louisville KY, outside the last remaining abortion clinic in that state.

Apparently, these “nothin-better- to-dos” think accessing an abortion should be more like “Ultimate Beastmaster” than just… idk… walking in a clinic on time for your appointment.  

Why do I know all of this? Because it was plastered all over CNN and MSNBC? Yeah, Right. Nope, I know it because I was there, volunteering as an escort at the clinic and it was batshit so I wanted to give you an idea of what the day was like and let you know how YOU can help.
NOTE: All of the statements, opinions, comments, typed sequences of letters that form words are my own. I do NOT represent or speak for the EMW escorts or the clinic.

By 6:00 am horrible protesters had already begun to gather. By about 7:30 the sidewalk was lined with roughly 100 of them, carrying massive signs of medically inaccurate, shame-y information and images. The roughly 30-40 escorts were also getting in place too, trying to hold space around the entrance. And all of us were being subjected to the super christian-y prayer music blaring from the speakers they had set up right outside the clinic doors.

The clinic opens at 8:00am and things are non-stop until all of the patients are settled in the clinic which is generally about 9:30am. We got the word that the doors were open so a fellow escort and I began walking a woman from her car to the clinic. As we approached we noticed that the crowd wasn’t really paying attention to us. It looked more like a mass of crazy fans trying to snap a pic of the cast of Hamilton leaving the backdoor of the theatre.

Once we got close, we realized that a group of protesters had crossed the property line and were sitting, physically blocking the entrance to the clinic.

The frustrating part was that, we ended up cornered by the door having to watch as the police handled the situation. While this was happening, two other escorts and I were forming a wall between the patient and the madness.

Eventually it did happen and they carted off ten protesters and NO APPOINTMENTS were missed.

The entire time I couldn’t help but think how the officers were completely misplaced in being respectful to these people breaking the law when the person behind me is the one being denied access to their totally LEGAL HUMAN RIGHT! Not once did any of the eight officers acknowledge the patient as we stood there for what felt like the longest ten minutes of my life.

Eventually it did happen and they carted off ten protesters and no appointments were missed.

Hear that? Talk to the hand cause the F.A.C.E. don’t wanna hear it.

That’s F.A.C.E as in the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act which was signed in 1994 by President Bill Clinton after violence against abortion providers and reproductive healthcare facilities began to spike.

Which if you want to understand real domestic terrorism you’ll take a gander at the The National Abortion Federation’s tally of all the reported violence against abortion providers.

The scary part here is that this isn’t the end. These people are holding their super FUN-damentally fucked up national convention outside the clinic from July 22-29th. Over 5,000 people have been invited to make the trip and join in on the harassment.

Let’s do the math-  Of all the people that click “attending” on your Facebook invites, how many actually show up? Even if only 10% attend, that means things could be even more batshit than last weekend.

There are so many ways to support this movement. You can become an abortion doula, volunteer for an abortion fund hotline, plan an event to benefit your local clinic, call your senator and tell them you support access, send postcards of support to providers or help fight stigma and shame by talking about abortion in your daily life.

For me, clinic escorting is probably the most rewarding. I love it. I think it feeds my soul. I’m tall and big and I think my body is built for it. Meaning, I can be the totally non-engaging bodyguard providing a source of comfort alongside a patient encountering protesters for the first time.

Luckily, the clinic has an amazing team of dedicated escorts that are out there every day. They are organized and fucking ready. These people rock. Some of the people on their team have been doing it for over 15 years. I am a measly little newbie. I’m so insanely honored that they have let me join them.

DONATE TO THEM! They need your support to be ready for this onslaught of extremists in July.

The anti’s incessant desire to shove their flagrant beliefs down the throats of others through shame and stigma is why I stand on the sidewalk and it’s one of the HUGE reasons Lady Parts Justice League is hitting the ground for two months this summer on our Vagical Mystery Tour, so we can help amazing escorts in 16 cities breath a little easier and work to grow their community support.

Join us along the way! We can put you to werk!

Data Bunk

Texas Republicans refuse to allow Texas HB 2 to die.

HB 2 was the notorious Texas Trap Law that the U.S. Supreme Court shot down in the landmark Whole Woman’s Health v. Hellerstedt ruling. In tried and true trap law fashion, HB 2 tried to use bullshit and pointless regulations to shut down abortion clinics in Texas. And it succeeded like gangbusters, until the Supremes finally shot it down.

Now, conservative Texas lawmakers are trying to come up with more insidious ways of harassing clinics and the women who need them. A bogus bill moving through the Texas House right now is designed to undermine the ability of clinics to function by forcing them to keep and report pointless and redundant data. They’re trying to strangle reproductive rights with red tape!  

HB 2962 requires abortion clinics and other abortion providers to report painstakingly detailed data on any complications that arise during or after an abortion. Texas state laws ALREADY require that providers must report the type of abortion that had the complication; the gestational age of the fetus, the date the complication was treated, and the reproductive history of the patient.

This new bill now requires doctors to report complications to the state within 72 hours. It makes state Health Department develop an electronic system for providers reporting abortion complications, and report any doctors in violation of the reporting requirements to the Texas Medical Board. Oh, and doctors must ALSO report the woman’s age, race, marital status, county and state of residence, and even the date of her last menstrual cycle!

And of course all of this is in COMPLETE DEFIANCE of statistics that show abortion is MUCH SAFER than everything from tonsillectomies to vasectomies to wisdom teeth removal!

The bill is the brainchild of Rep. Giovanni Capriglione who made headlines by trying to force State Senator Wendy Davis to personally pay the state of Texas $800,000 to cover the cost of a special session–a special session that Governor Rick Perry called after Wendy filibustered HB 2! Class all the way, Giovanni!

Give the Tex-ASSHOLES who came up with this credit: their scheme drowns clinics in red tape, while forcing them to provide statistics that will undoubtedly be twisted and misrepresented to portray abortion complications as commonplace. Note that nobody is asking for this kind of reporting on Viagra-related mishaps!

Louisiana TRAPS Another Victim

The thing about TRAPS is that they’re hard to avoid when they’re everywhere. And vicious TRAP laws (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) designed to shut down clinics with impossible-to-comply-with rules and regulations are as ubiquitous across the South as a kudzu vine. If you manage to avoid one TRAP, you find yourself snared by another.

Yesterday we told you about the good news in Kentucky where the state’s LAST ABORTION CLINIC will remain open for now, thanks to a reprieve from a federal judge.

But when it comes to abortion rights, every time a door stays open, some asshole tries to shut two windows. The latest sound of a TRAP slamming shut comes from Louisiana, where we just lost one of ONLY FOUR abortion clinics in a state of over 4 and a half million people!  

This most recent clinic to succumb to TRAP harassment was Bossier City Medical Suite in northwest Louisiana. According to state records, it was run by the same company that operated a suburban New Orleans clinic that was forced to shutter last year. Now the only remaining clinics in the entire state are in New Orleans, Baton Rouge, and Shreveport.

Louisiana lawmakers are definitely not friendly to abortion-seekers whatsoever. The state requires a 72-hour waiting period after mandatory in-person “counseling,” a ban on the most common second-trimester abortion procedure, and mandatory ultrasounds. Oh, and it’s illegal to sell vibrators.

Obviously, the deprived people of Louisiana could use a few laughs. But the assault on abortion rights is so widespread that Lady Parts Justice League’s upcoming Vagical Mystery Tour won’t be visiting the Bayou State, despite going to 15 other states where clinics are also under assault.

It seems like TRAP laws are everywhere–and LPJL wants to be there too. Help us expand our reach and donate!

Matt Bevin’s Kentucky Abortion Derby

A federal judge has signed an order to keep Kentucky’s last remaining abortion clinic open until a lawsuit stopping the closure is resolved.

FUCK YA!!! This is a bit of good news bubbling up from a swamp of deplorables.

The Bluegrass State’s Governor, Matt Bevin, is the douchebag riding his anti-choice horse; attempting to shut down EMW Women’s Surgical Center in Louisville. His administration ordered the clinic to stop providing abortions starting April 3rd, claiming that it lacks proper licensing papers and hospital agreements for patient care in the event of a medical emergency. This “claim” for hospital agreements is just another T.R.A.P law – or – Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers, which are unnecessary restrictions designed to make it impossible for abortion clinics to stay open. Lawmakers say it’s for the “health of the woman,” when it’s just a sneaky way of overturning Roe vs. Wade without actually overturning it.

The EMW Women’s Surgical Center decided to fight back and sued the state seeking an injunction against Bevin’s “blatantly unconstitutional” move. Brigitte Amiri, an ACLU attorney, applauded U.S. District Judge Greg Stivers for signing the order and said that doctors “shouldn’t have to go to court to ensure they can provide care.”

Friendly reminder: THIS IS THE ONLY ABORTION CLINIC LEFT IN KENTUCKY! This is a HUGE deal. If it closes, the state will have ZERO abortion providers and it “will have a devastating impact on Kentucky women” who will have no other options for abortion care.

Lady Parts Justice League is fighting back against anti-choice douchebags and touring around the country this summer on the first ever Vagical Mystery Tour! For eight straight weeks, starting in June, LPJL will travel to 15 states where there are terrifying laws restricting abortion access. There will be live LPJL comedy shows, activist workshops, and a whole lot of lovin’ doled out on independent abortion clinics. The last stop on the tour is in Louisville, where LPJL will support EMW Women’s Surgical Center in any way possible to fight Matt Bevin and his abortion derby!

You can help too by donating any spare change you have to the Vagical Mystery Tour! Let’s do this!! Giddy-up!