Everyone’s Life Is Ruined If They’re Not a Supreme Court Justice

Lemme talk to you about some Sorrows of Young Werther shit. So, you know, some of you probably read this book in college and maybe it changed your life and stuff or you just thought it was fine. But here’s how it changed mine. So basically, this woman who has given our Young Werther NOOOO real signals that she’s down to clown, is SOMEHOW at fault for his suicide, so much that she later dies OF HEARTBREAK. I mean, it’s so like a guy to write a thing where he’s like “and then I die and the woman I’ve always liked DIES because I am dead.” But anyway, reading this book from 1774 reminded me of a fact I continually have reaffirmed watching the news: THE WOMAN IS ALWAYS AT FAULT!

And to that, we at LPJL say, NOT THIS FUCKING TIME. We failed Anita Hill miserably in 1991. We can’t fail Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. We MUST NOT.

We’re reading a lot of idiots who say that one thing you did as a teen should not ruin your whole life. Um, who’s talking about WHOLE LIFE? Also, one thing you do TO someone in high school… can actually ruin their whole life.

But let’s be clear the Supreme Court is not a fucking social media manager job. NOT JUST ANYONE CAN DO IT! Brett Kavanaugh has had a career. He’s done a lot of big deal jobs. His life is NOT gonna be RUINED by not being a Supreme Court justice. Being a justice is supposed to be an honor the way BEING THE PRESIDENT is supposed to be a fucking honor. It can’t go to someone who is morally compromised in any way. And let’s be clear, a person who would think it’s OK to hold a woman down, despite her protests, and turn up the music to drown out her screams, IS MORALLY COMPROMISED.

I mean, we can argue all day about what kinda punishment said person deserves. But one thing they DO NOT DESERVE is a Supreme Court seat. BECAUSE AGAIN THIS IS NOT JUST ANOTHER FUCKING JOB!

We all did some shitty things in high school. This is not a fucking shoplifting charge. This is a violent act. People who commit violent acts don’t get to DICTATE HOW EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES SHOULD BEHAVE!

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