Weekly Reproductive Rights Recap: August 20-August 24, 2018

This week is all about consequences. OK, every second is always all about consequences, but this week felt more so! Maybe it was the spectacle of political implosions crashing in faster than you had time to celebrate them. There’s a whiff of karma in the air! Consequences.

Sidewalk screamers have their own version of consequences. It goes “God hates [insert “abortion” or “gays” or whatever you want here],” so anything bad that happens is God punishing us for your gay abortion lifestyle. It’s versatile and doesn’t require a lot of complicated climate modeling.

But this week we saw the consequences of failed policies on abortion and reproductive healthcare. Brainless abstinence-only sex ed (oops, we mean ‘sexual risk avoidance”) results in higher teen pregnancy rates, which result in higher abortion rates. Doh!

And fighting tooth and nail to prevent a much-needed medical abortion clinic from opening in South Bend, Indiana can only result in more later-in-the-term surgical abortions.

Failed abortion policy has negative consequences for the economy, as women are unable to participate as they would like (despite convoluted computations by anti-choice nutjobs of the number of pizzas aborted fetuses would have eaten over the years.)

Then there’s smarmy Trump HHS official Scott Lloyd, who tries to impose his own morality and his own set of consequences onto helpless young immigrants because he’s unhappy about the consequences of choices he made in college.

Funding cuts for Planned Parenthood (thankfully REJECTED!) deny people everything from abortion care to cancer screening. And as we saw, ancient laws from decades past may still have consequences today if Roe v Wade falls.  

Which brings us to the 10-ton elephant of consequences—Brett Kavanaugh. If he gets a seat on the Supreme Court, the consequences will be reverberating far into the future when we all have jetpacks and robot companions… and no reproductive rights!

Here’s the takeaway on Kavanaugh and on all the consequences we face: there are good consequences too. They require dedication and timely action and a certain amount of sacrifice. Get involved and see what you can do to help… like maybe this weekend. It’s a matter of great consequence.   

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find Out What It Means to Me

Do we have to spell it out for you? Fine.


The death this week of Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin reminds us of what LPJL, and the fight for repro rights, and the whole feminist movement are all about. RESPECT… and more than just a little bit, if you don’t mind.

Aretha Franklin so made that song her own that today many people don’t know that it was written by Otis Redding, who already had a hit with it when Aretha laid down her version on Valentine’s Day in 1967. And that’s only righteous, because she did a lot more than just cover that song. She transformed it from the simple complaint of a guy who doesn’t want any trouble from his woman to what President Obama called “a rallying cry for African Americans and women and anyone else who felt marginalized because of what they looked like, who they loved.”

And she transformed it with more than just her legendary voice. Her subtle changes to the lyrics made it an anthem for both the civil rights and feminist movements. She and her sisters Carolyn and Erma juiced up the arrangement with interplay between her and them as the backup singers. “Sock it to me!” (That’s her on piano on the track too, BTW.) And then she added that bridge that literally spelled it out for anyone listening. R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

The demand for RESPECT is what we’ve been talking about this week and every week. The RESPECT that’s missing when the fraudsters at FAKE clinics value their own bogus “free speech” over the health needs of people who they’ve duped into coming to them for care.  

And it hit us how eerily similar those fake clinics are to entire FAKE HOSPITALS that we told you about on Monday. The difference there is that you’re being disrespected by real doctors, but ones who just refuse to do certain perfectly accepted and standard medical procedures because they cross some kind of line laid down in a middle-eastern desert 3,000 years ago.

Here’s a question for Catholic hospitals—if there’s so much hospital stuff that you can’t do, why go into the hospital biz? There must be something you’re good at—although you should definitely stay away from childcare, as we found out this week with YET ANOTHER child abuse scandal in the church—while good churchgoers are too busy protesting women’s health clinics to address priestly pedophilia or families being ripped apart at the border or poverty, or anything else.  

And most fittingly this week, we took another look at how totally intertwined reproductive freedom is with economic freedom, which brings us back to the Queen. When she cleverly transformed the words of the song “Respect,” Aretha came up with…

Ooo, your kisses / Sweeter than honey / And guess what? / So is my money

… One of the rare times in popular song up until that point that a woman sang about HER money. Access to equal economic opportunity and to reproductive care are both part of RESPECT.

Aretha added one more thing to that song—right at the end of the bridge she sings “TCB!” which was shorthand in the Black community for “Take Care of Business.” That’s how you get RESPECT, friends. And that’s what we intend to keep on doing at LPJL, out of RESPECT for Aretha Franklin and everybody else in the struggle.


Weekly Reproductive Rights Recap: (Don’t) Gag Me With A Spoon

Don’t make us gag!

The oppressive forces have a message for anyone with a mind of their own and a body that they’re determined to own—and that message is—STFU! Shut your mouth, plug your ears, cross your legs and turn off your brain… or we’ll do it for you.

We’re used to the womb raiders in this administration making us want to gag. This week they were doing everything in their power to make sure we DID gag. As part of their “compliance through enforced silence” program, this week the puritanical minions were pushing two new diktats actually designed to gag anyone who values truth.

As we told you on Monday (along with a heads-up about the latest in Bigfoot erotica), the administration has since Day One applied something called the Global Gag Rule. It’s not telling the world to shut up—it’s worse. It denies U.S. foreign aid to any international groups that provide abortion services. So yeah, they’re trying to make the world as ignorant as they’re making this country. And they’re killing people in the process. A new study shows Trump’s Gag Rule ends up harming clinics that are leading the fight against AIDS overseas. Great, the American mania for shutting down clinics goes global. Gag!

And this administration also has a thing for domestic gags (and you know something called that must exist in the bondage underworld.) The Trumpistas are pushing for a gag rule for Title X, which provides family planning for low-income people. Under the new rule, doctors who get Title X funding couldn’t even let pregnant patients who are weighing their options know about abortion providers. They don’t want pregnant people to know that the option even exists. If you can’t destroy repro rights right now, just hide them for the time being. Gag Again!  

But here’s the opposite of gagging! (Discuss amongst yourselves what that would actually be). On Tuesday we BEGGED you to contact the Health & Human Services because it was the final day to object to pussy posse plots to ice Planned Parenthood out of being able to get any funding for Title X programs—even though abortion services are already explicitly excluded.

Well, your comments (and our begging) did it! We’re happy AF to tell you the on Thursday we found out that Planned Parenthood will continue to be eligible for Title X funding!  

BUT, in a weird move, HHS didn’t say how the grant awards would be for each organization. So there still might be weasel plans to short-sheet Planned Parenthood’s cancer screenings and instead shovel most of the money to the kind of “abstinence only” charades that evangelical armies have insisted be eligible for Title X money. Who needs mammograms when you can have some bloodless holy roller lecturing you on why only sluts have sex?

We’ll keep you updated on the Title X story. In the meantime, if you don’t want to end up gagging, keep refusing everything this administration tries to force down our throats!  

Reproductive Rights Recap: July 16-20th

This week LPJL was all about what we’re all about—being in-your-face funny where it’s needed most. We were out there on the streets and on the road, bringing attitude and help wherever either was called for. If you want a great summary of our unique brand of militant hilarity, check out this article in Teen Vogue this week from LPJL’s own Solange, who was with us on the road.  

We brought comfort to clinics and confrontation to the harass-holes who harangue the clinics. And all of that without once losing site of the Supreme Court nomination fight taking place even as we out-yell the clinic yellers.

This week our Vagical Mystery Tour swept into Indiana, where we did a show in South Bend to benefit Whole Woman’s Health who are working to bring a new clinic to a state where the anti-vag pussy posse members have done their best to run them all out of town. WWH has been fighting to open a clinic in South Bend while trying to prevent a FAKE clinic from opening next door before they even get up and running!

And while they’re opening an actual clinic, they’re in court fighting to get rid of all the TRAP laws, consent laws, waiting periods, and other crap designed to make repro rights un-accessible in Indiana. Whole Woman’s Health is literally the name of the Supreme Court decision that reaffirmed those very rights: Whole Woman’s Health vs Hellerstedt. And we’re going to make sure they stay affirmed.  

And while we were in the area, we took the opportunity to hit Indianapolis and whip up a face full of shock & mockery for the uterine patrolmen who were holding their “Summer of Justice” farce. And we took special care to save some personalized ridicule for the SOJ Headliner of Hate, the notorious “Activist Mommy.” She’s a vile reeker who loves to spit poison at LGBQT people and promote child abuse. We exposed her as the Activist Mommy Dearest that she really is. And it took more than a few thrift shop costuming trips—check out the video!

We’re out in the states because whether the Supreme Court is supportive or hostile to repro rights, the shit they do hits the fans at the state level. We saw that played out all week in Indiana, as the sidewalk screamers in Fort Wayne forced one clinic to shut down with threats and harassment, while Arizona tries to find a backchannel to personhood laws by treating fertilized frozen embryos as full-fledged people. And in Texas, they want to force mothers to perform burials or cremations for any aborted, miscarried or ectopic pregnancy.  

And yes, the SCOTUS nomination fight is absolutely vital, not just for abortion rights, but for access to birth control and so much more. Here again is your handy list of what you CAN DO to prevent the Kavanagh nightmare from happening. Because if it does, it’s going to felt everywhere. So until that threat is over, we’re going to be everywhere. (Next week in Minnesota, but everywhere in general!)

The Week In Reproductive Rights: July 9-13th

So for real.

This week started with a Supreme Court nomination announcement that seemed like a sick parody of reality TV. It quickly became a lesson in dealing with actual reality. And we spent this week introducing you to that new reality. Because it’s a lot less scary when you’re dealing with it than when you’re trying to run away from it.

And we DON’T mean “dealing with it” as in “accepting it.” We plan on changing it. And that possibility is what this week was about—explaining why we HAVE to change it, and letting you know how to do it.

In this past week, we’ve learned a few more things about Judge Brett Kavanaugh, but nothing that supersedes the fact that he was on a short list of preapproved names compiled by some very nasty powerbrokers in the Federalist Society and the Heritage Foundation. It’s a list of judges who will DEFINITELY overturn Roe v. Wade, among other insidious conservative skullfuckery. This guy’s entire professional life was mapped out for that purpose, just as surely as the Boys from Brazil were bred to be a bunch of little Hitlers. And that’s why we CANNOT let this happen.     

We showed you what happens when abortion rights are denied or restricted—the number of Google searches for “self-induced abortion” skyrocket. If you try to get rid of safe and legal abortion, the “safe” part gets thrown out along with the “legal” part. But the abortion part stays.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, “in 2017, 58 percent of American women of reproductive age lived in a state considered either hostile or extremely hostile to abortion rights.” And if Roe v. Wade goes down, a lot of those states have medieval old anti-abortion laws still on the books, like anti-choice maggots just waiting for somebody to turn over the rock.

One of those states is Michigan, where the Vagical Mystery Tour appeared this week. The moment Roe v Wade gets the rug pulled out, Michigan’s abortion law reverts to a law that dates back to 1931. That doesn’t just affect “Michigan.” It affects human beings living in Michigan right now!   

This is about real consequences for real people. And you’re one of them. And nothing brought that home more than a piece by LPJL’s own Molly Gaebe—an abortion doula who says “I have held the hands of hundreds of people with wildly different stories, backgrounds, families, incomes, experiences, fears and joys. But one thing thing that they have in common is that they need an abortion, and they do not need the opinion of the government to help them make this decision.”

Do yourself a favor and read Molly’s whole piece if you haven’t already. And then read this quick list or what you can do:

  • Let them know that a non-answer on Roe is a threat to Roe!
  • Some of the most important Senators to contact are possible Republican defections Susan Collins of Maine and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska.
  • Also critical are Democrats who voted for Gorsuch from red states like Indiana, North Dakota, and West Virginia.
  • California! It’s important to send letters to Senator Feinstein, who will report the number of letters during hearings on the nomination.
  • Write op-eds, organize, and PROTEST!
  • Share your abortion stories on social media.
  • More details and information is available from the Center for Reproductive Rights.

Being straight about what we have to do—and why we’re doing it. That’s what this week has been about. That’s what this reality is about.

We Really DO Care. Do U? (Weekly Recap: June 18-22nd, 2018)

We really do care. Do U?

Well it was another really crappy week for the born. And as we pointed out, those fetal-philes who fetishize the unborn are remarkably silent when it comes to people who are on this side of the birth canal. Personhood begins at conception and ends at birth if you’re the wrong color and your parents have the gall to flee violence or oppression.

Not coincidentally, the childhood nightmare monster that’s in charge of all these children who’ve been ripped from their parents is Scott Lloyd, who we’ve been sounding the alarm on for ages.

He got tapped to be the head of Office of Refugee Resettlement because of his long history of opposing abortion by every underhanded and slimy means possible. And he went right to work making sure refugees were well cared for, by trying to force them to have babies! Because you just can’t have enough infants in tents in the desert, right?  

Now the man who refused to grant the request of a teen who had become pregnant by rape is gleefully tearing born babies from their mothers’ arms and shipping them to secret holding facilities around the country. Thanks for carrying your baby to term… now we can take it off your hands, thankyouverymuch.

Exposing hypocrites like Scott Lloyd is best done on location So LPJL is out and loud in America, all summer, people! This week we were in beautiful West Virginia, whose people are too good for the things their politicians put them through. They’re trying to ram through an amendment to the state constitution that would end Medicaid abortion…  in a state where a third of the people are on Medicaid. So yeah, that might impact a few folks.

And we came to show a little love for WV’s one and ONLY clinic (for a state with 1.8 million people!), Women’s Health Clinic of West Virginia. Although you could be forgiven for thinking there was more than one clinic in WV because a FAKE one is operation RIGHT NEXT DOOR. Stay classy, you fraudulent freaks.

We’re on a roll—this Sunday (6/24) in Columbus, OHIO, and Tuesday 6/28 in Nashville, TENNESSEE! Come on out and join us, and follow us here, because we ain’t stopping any time soon.

Weekly Recap: June 11-15, 2018

Lock Them Up! Lock Them Up!

We’re not the type of people who watch true crime for fun, but we’ve seen enough of it to know that it’s the truly unrepentant people who are the scariest. The ones who believe they are above the law and that because of that they can do whatever they want. Cut to: real life, where two wombsday preppers BROKE their probation cuz they just HAD TO protest. Basically, these creeps harassed patients at a clinic during the “Red Rose Rescue,” a particularly invasive and horrible “protest” these jerks do and then CONTINUED to harass patients even AFTER being told by a judge that they couldn’t.

We don’t normally like linking to anti-choice sites, but you truly have to read the insanity of their argument. They still argue it’s their first amendment right, they IN COURT argue that they were acting because of God’s law, and say that it’s an EMERGENCY that they should be able to protest. Oh also, they call someone a “full-time pro-life activist” which like, if we thought we disappointing OUR parents by being comedians… oh boy. ALSO ALSO one of these people teaches at a COLLEGE. I mean, less than a safety school college, but still. Unacceptable.

And the QUOTES about the whole thing are just so frickin’ incredulous. Someone gets mad at the judge’s sentence and says ““I can only come to the conclusion that the judge is in favor of legalized abortion.” Yeah, that’s the fucking law! But what’s particularly striking about these people’s way of thinking is that… it’s kinda how a lot of politicians think too. Take this week! A MISSOURI law that restricts access to medication abortions somehow got upheld by a judge, even though it SCREAMS “undue burden”… which is the law. I mean, the Hyde Amendment and this sneaky-domestic-gag-rule light are just huge “JK’s” to the established law. Down Syndrome bans are blatantly unconstitutional, but they keep getting passed and proposed because apparently the dumbass anti-choicers think they’ve found some kinda loophole in the law (and I mean, they do often win).

The Vadge Badgers think they live above the law, but they don’t, and we have to fight like hell to make sure they know that!

Oh, and one kind thing you could do is send some love to the folks at Northland Family Planning! They were one of the places the cruel folks at Red Rose Rescue hit, and they’ve been dealing with a lot of harassment. So send a postcard or leave a nice review of their clinic!

Until next week, don’t let the bastards grind you down!

Daily Takedown: June 4-8, 2018

Decisions, decisions!

Supreme Court decisions, that is. This is that time of year when a group of people who have who have been hanging out for 80 or so years hand down decisions on what life here is going to be like for the next 80 years and more. Some of them are extremely wise (take a bow, RBG!). Some, not so much. We need at least 5 out of 9 of them to be wise. June is the month find out if they were.  

On Mondays (and sometimes Thursdays) in June, the Supreme Court issues decisions on the various cases it considered over the course of this term. And if you feel like, much like Green Day, you’ve been waiting a long time to hear if Fake Clinics in California still get to lie to patients, well, much like Sum 41, we’re all Still Waiting. The Supremes didn’t issue a decision in NIFLA v. Becerra.

Quick Refresher: The CALIFORNIA law at the center of this case is called the FACT ACT. It requires FAKE Women’s Health Centers to tell their victims … the truth, that there are OPTIONS when you are pregnant and that California actually has great abortion services. So one Monday or Thursday this month, the Supremes are going to decide if phonies in Halloween doctor costumes have a right to lie to you.

Either way it goes down, we want to CELEBRATE (hopefully) or PROTEST the decision—and you should be part of that. Here’s how you can join our RAPID RESPONSE when it rapidly responds.

This week we also told you about another couple of cases the Court decided… kind of…  sort of… it’s complicated. In the case of the religious bigot baker who should be wearing his pastry bag as a Klan hood, the Court said, yeah, Mr. Marzipan-For-Brains can go on refusing to bake cakes for gay weddings. BUT it’s just him for now, since the decision was about how the authorities in this specific case had upset this poor man’s delicate discriminatory sensibilities. So the legal icing has still not been applied to this cake.

And then there was the case of the pregnant immigrant girl that officials in the now-ironically-named Department of Health and Human Services had tried to prevent from getting an abortion she wanted and needed. The Court decided the case was moot because the girl finally was able to get her abortion despite the harassment from HHS. But of course there are already others suffering the same treatment, and cases involving them are winding their way to the Supreme Court.

The resolution of the principals in those cases has been put off for another day. But we’re probably going to be finding out what the decision in the case of the phony clinics is someday very soon—like on a Monday or Thursday this month. So stay tuned—and stay ready. June is decision month.