Obria is the Theranos of the “Family Planning” World

We’ve been working hard to #ExposeFakeClinics for years! “Crisis pregnancy centers” prey on vulnerable pregnant people and attempt to confuse and mislead them into not having an “abortion.” They are insidious, their clerks disguised as fakely kind-hearted ladies who just want to talk and hear you out, except… no again, what they want is only one thing. It is not that you have a good life, it’s not that you feel comfortable, it is not that you have all the facts. It is that you do not have an abortion. So while, sure, some of them give like 10 diapers to people, that doesn’t excuse the fact that they LIE to people about abortion and try to scare them.

So anyway fake clinics are in the news AGAIN, because Title X, a program meant to helping with FAMILY PLANNING has decided that PLANNED PARENTHOOD (I mean, it’s ALL in the name) does not qualify any more because they provide abortion. And also that no places that even MENTION abortion should qualify. And so that means, federal money, that should be going to help people, that should be a bipartisan help, IS GOING TO THESE BULLSHIT FAKE CLINICS. They don’t provide birth control. They don’t really know what the word “planning” is beyond hoping that the rhythm method works.

Any way we did a little investigative reporting (EVER HEARD OF IT??) into some of the doctor’s on the board of fakest of fake clinics: Obria.  And LET US TELL YOU it is a veritable who’s who of “I would never use this doctor again.” First up we have Dr. Timothy “I would not take my dog to him.” Hindmarsh. Then we have Dr. Epifanio “2.9 was the best score of these doctors” Anzaldo. Oh and one more, Dr. Mary “Dont know how she can be a Doctor” Kotob.  These people deserve millions from Title X but yeah, god forbid Planned Parenthood MENTION ABORTION.

This bogus clinic getting funding is a good reminder to CHECK YOUR WORK even if you’re in the gov, and maybe don’t support places that ARE SO OBVIOUSLY BAD.

And donate to abortion funds.

Birthday Abortions: Free Abortions On Your Birthday!

We’re not gonna lie, we needed a laugh this week and something to dunk on, so thank you, The Hill for publishing this TRULY unhinged piece about “Birth day abortions” a thing that is DEFINITELY real and should DEFINITELY be put in the headline of a major publication, DEFINITELY not total propaganda perpetrated by the zygote-loving orcs up in Orcville.

So last week we got an anti-choicer piece where at one point where the writer literally was like “We can’t leave a patient’s health up to a DOCTOR cuz what if a DOCTOR has a different opinion than ME, NOT A DOCTOR” (meanwhile they really think it’s important that a doctor shouldn’t HAVE to save a pregnant person’s life… just you know, sit with that). THIS WEEK we got this sentence which makes us all feel like, man, they are REALLY losing the thread here:

“Do we let babies who survive abortions lie there and die, or do we provide life-saving care to them?”

So, obviously this doesn’t really happen. But also… in WHAT world do they think that it is not already a law? Like, WE TOO would not want someone to just let an INFANT die if it is born. They are speaking to no one here. I mean, women get fucking CHARGED WITH MURDER if they have stillborn babies. DO THEY REALLY THINKING LAWS ARE NOT STRICT ENOUGH? HOW MANY MORE WAYS TO Y’ALL WANT TO PUNISH PEOPLE.

Any way the reason this one made us laugh is because we learned that for this terrible act that should just go away there is NOW something called a “Discharge Petition.” And, that’s just funny. Happy Friday!

Alabama: Total Abortion Ban

We spend a lot of time trying to unpack anti-choice zygote loving logic and oh boy let us TELL YOU it just is so effing confusing. And also, so BLATANT in it’s ridiculousness. It’s like, if any human being stared at this long enough, and was at all discerning, they could figure it out. But… they just all… refuse to be??

So FIRST plot hole: total abortion bans. This week a North Carolina judge struck down a TWENTY WEEK ban. A great win for North Carolina activists! A sign that any arbitrary ban is garbage. But then Ohio AND Georgia are still trying to pass heartbeat bills! And and and… Alabama is apparently gonna try to pass a TOTAL ABORTION BAN. Just basically saying “fuck the Constitution, fuck Roe v. Wade. Fight us!” No exception for rape or incest! You can be penalized if you HELP someone get an abortion. Fuck this so hardcore. This is so obvious! You’re wasting tax payer dollars and fucking over a BUNCH of people in the process while they wait for this to be proved unconstitutional. It’s just so garbage. We can’t accept any kind of collateral damage in this fight! So please follow the POWER House on Facebook and go here and here for updates for how to mobilize with them.

And we just wanna quickly add a little bit about disability rights. Because the anti-abortion mob is trying to pit disability rights and abortion rights against each other and we ABSOLUTELY will not stand for it. We will not allow the anti-abortion movement to write completely HOLLOW articles about how much they care about protecting “all life” ALL WHILE not even acknowledging how ACA cuts could DESTROY the lives of children with disabilities and cutting the special Olympics is just cruel and unecssary. You can’t be so effing single issue and then have anyone take you seriously. If you pretend to care about “life” so much but conveniently only care about fetuses, you are broken. You have no humanity. Full  stop.

304, 304, 304 TOO MANY

Well y’all, yesterday as we were frantically launching our badass new March on Abortion Rights Madness video, there were major news stories and activists activating in Ohio, Georgia, and Indiana. Y’all- We can’t take a moment away from the news without being  like “Wait, ok, where is this one at? Has the house voted yet on this one? Who can we contact for this one?” And it kinda made us be like “Are these harder to keep track of than usual??” And like, MAYBE because according to Guttmacher there have been 304 abortion restrictions proposed by states THIS YEAR! Like, our heartbeat bill board is FULL!

Here’s the update: in Georgia, you still need to be contacting the House there! Because TWO people need to defect to tank the bill and ACCORDING TO THIS ARTICLE ABOUT A FACEBOOK VIDEO (we live in hell) that could be possible.

In Indiana, GUESS WHAT the SOUTH BEND CLINIC IS STILL NOT OPEN. This is supposed to be a clinic that just provides medication abortion. Which like, is for very early abortion, which… like… guys, MEDICATION ABORTION IS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE! This is a ridiculous battle!

And for Ohio, idk what’s going on there.

Moving on…

JK JK, in Ohio the great folks are fighting against a CARDIAC POLE bill and they need you to testify!

OK so you aren’t full sadness, this is actually really great news brought to you by the badass activists in North Carolina. A judge ruled the 20 week abortion ban is unconstitutional! BECAUSE IT OBVS IS! And so are these 6 week ones!

So keep fighting the good fight everyone. And sorry this is all so overwhelming sometimes.

March Madness: LPJL Edition

Welcome to the big show! It’s March Madness! *AIRHORN NOISE, DISTURBS OFFICE DOGS, TURNS OFF AIRHORN*** Look we love March Madness here because we’re feminists with LAYERS. But we decided to do some bracketology with the thing we care about most: reproductive rights.

Enter our new exciting prediction show “Cathy and the Cooch” (the wonderful Frangela) they’re breaking down who will win the “March on Abortion Rights Madness.” With over a hundred anti-abortion introduced by states THIS YEAR the field was very competitive. But a few state legislators really took the garbage crown! We break down the “Elite” southwest and midwest region here! And Cathy and the Cooch will return next week for more predictions in the East and Southeast “Conference”!!

We Need To Talk About “Heartbeat” (It’s Not a Heartbeat) Bills

So as the barrage of “heartbeat” bills fill the halls of state legislatures that, you know, should really be doing something to actually help their constituents, we’ve been struggling with what to rename them. I mean, 6-week abortion ban works, total abortion ban works. Our leader Lizz Winstead suggests “two-weeks after a missed period ban” which we think does have a certain ring to it. But we knew and you knew, that what happens at that time period, isn’t a “heartbeat” and that this language was taking the language of hate groups and Hallmark cards to make it seem like abortion “Stopped a heartbeat.”

Well enter Dr. Jen Gunter who has a GREAT takedown of the whole thing. And she’s a DOCTOR, y’all, so she actually knows what she’s talking about.

(Wait we wanna sidebar here real quick at how BIZARRE the anti-choice movement is when dealing with doctors. It’s like they think… doctors don’t want ANYONE to survive ever…. In an article today the leader of March for Life *already a red flag* says this “While the proposed legislation stipulates that abortions after 24 weeks can only be performed if “there is an absence of fetal viability, or the abortion is necessary to protect the patient’s life or health” based on “reasonable and good faith professional judgment,” this still leaves the life of the unborn child up to the discretion of health care practitioners who may have varying interpretations of what it means to protect a patient’s health.” WHAT????? I mean, whose hands are you arguing the safety of a patient should be in? YOURS??? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? OR ARE YOU SAYING GOD’S HANDS??? IN WHICH CASE, CONGRATS, YOU SHOWED YOUR HAND HERE, YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN DOCTORS.)

Anyway, Dr. Gunter expertly lays out what the sac of cells at 6 weeks actually looks like (you gotta click through but it’s worth it to see). She reminds us of the hilarity that the anti-choice movement basically thinks that fetuses are like those toys where you add water and they grow bigger. And she argues we should call these bills “fetal pole cardiac activity” bills. Because maybe laws shouldn’t be so imprecise! Right!?

Another Friday, Another Passed Anti-Abortion Bill, Another Blocked Anti-Abortion Bill

Y’all so it goes, this week felt like every other week: in that it was a roller coaster of emotions! We sort of feel like we’re in a reproductive rights castle and every time a judge blocks an anti-abortion bill it’s like, pushing off one ladder from the affront, but then more and more ladders keep coming. IDK, we’ve been thinking about Lord of the Rings a lot lately.

So like, HOORAY, an Ohio judge blocked the D&E ban, because yes, duh, let’s stop legislating MEDICAL PROCEDURES as if describing any medical procedure wouldn’t make you be like “Oh hmmm….” Like, you should see what they do to your appendix.

But then, another ladder, Mississippi passed a heartbeat bill. YEEESHHH! What’s the opposite of virtue signalling…. Evil signalling? Y’all are NOT gonna get to the Supreme Court with this one… well we hope but you can never know when the orcs will invade the castle and Troy will fall (mixed metaphors, hell yeah).

So we wanna quickly address the Abortion Reversal Study. You know, “abortion pill reversal” a “scientific” thing that has like “anecdotal evidence from 6 people” that anti-choicers have used to legislate (and told people IN LEGISLATION to google it). Well now there’s a real study going on to see if it works. Couple of things, one it was funny our co-worker was like “well if it doesn’t they’ll just say it’s not a big enough sample size.” AND LOL FOREVER at the idea that anti-choicers UNDERSTAND WHAT A SAMPLE SIZE IS.

Any way, it’s hard to understand how BY ANTI-CHOICE logic you could get behind it. So pregnant people who want abortions volunteer, take the first pill do the “abortion reversal dance”  by taking the progesterone and then seeing what happens. But then at the end, even if it does work… they still get an abortion. I mean, people ARE volunteering for it but… it seems just… like a lot of emotional labor. And also all these fetuses are being aborted anyway so… why do anti-choicers support this?

But anyway we think the study will prove… that pregnant people should still get to make their own choices. So… there you have it.

Oh Look, The New York Times Saw the Heartbeat Bill Trend

We kid we kid with this headline. The Times has actually published a good deal of abortion-news related articles this year. And this week their editorial board addressed the issue of heartbeat bills and how they effectively ban abortion in an article titled “What Happens When Lawmakers Run Out of Abortion Restrictions to Pass.”

Here’s the thing: we all obviously know what the game plan is here! The fetus lovers are trying to signal to their orc fanbase that they’re willing to go hard, THE LAW OF THE LAND BE DAMNED! And they’re sacrificing… a lot of money and time to put on this dog and pony show. And also, more insidiously, they ARE trying to be the case that gets to the Supreme Court and overturns Roe. That’s why Kentucky will just KEEP trying to pass laws that have NO chance in hell of being upheld. And that’s why Mississippi, seeing that heartbeat bills have failed in LITERALLY EVERY OTHER CASE, is just gonna keep doubling down.

We get what is HAPPENING! But now the question is: what are we gonna do about it? We have to organize, we have to write letters, we have to petition, we have to vote.

But day to day, we also have to HELP. So please consider donating to NNAF so that people who can’t afford abortions have a chance! And sing this Reproductive Health Access Project petition to make medication abortion more available!