Snakes on a Plain

Our friends at Whole Woman’s got some bad news outta South Bend yesterday! It seems that one of the most effective tactics the enemies of  abortion access has is bureaucracy and the tale of Whole Woman’s Health Alliance trying to open in Indiana is a great example. WWHA applied to open a MEDICATION ABORTION clinic there over a year ago. You know, medication abortion, the thing you SHOULD be allowed to do at home but for some reason can’t because big old male politicians think they are “protecting women” by making five doctors watch them swallow a pill. That’s like… their kink.

In the frickin’ year since Whole Woman Health Alliance applied for the license they’ve faced nothing but red tape! Their license got denied in January for… look it’s so boring, we fall asleep explaining it… but basically the health department didn’t know how organizations work. ZZZZZZZZ no stay with us, please, please! ZZZZZZ We promise it’s almost over there’s just a difference between for profit and not-for-profit ZZZZZ OK FINE LET’S JUST SAY IT WAS SOME BULLSHIT AND MAYBE A HEALTH DEPARTMENT SHOULD UNDERSTAND HOW ORGANIZATIONS WORK.

So it took until AUGUST for a judge to hear WWHA’s appeal. The judge was like “Uhhh, no duh, they should be allowed to open,” because, you know, she was logical. But then the Health Department appealed that and a three-person panel yesterday said WWHA’s license should be denied. Meanwhile the cat hotel next door can just BE A FAKE CLINIC.

Our video explains the nonsense HERE

The point is, it’s just so blatant that the health department does not give a fuck about helping people. This is all some kinda political nonsense perpetrated by people who’ve never had any power suddenly being able to flex on a … healthcare clinic. And it’s PURE GASLIGHTING. A phrase we’re gonna use now to describe all this red tape.


We’re sending all our love to Amy Hagstrom-Miller and Whole Woman Health Alliance this week. Keep fighting! You’re like the iguana in this video, we know you’ll make it out on the other side!


6 Horror Stories From Abortion Providers and Escorts

We hope you’re having a wonderful Halloween.  But there’s something truly scary happening this Halloween season. A real-life monster is up for parole in Florida. TOMORROW. In March of 1993, a monster named Michael Griffin murdered abortion provider Dr. David Gunn by shooting him in the back three times. It was the first deliberately targeted murder of an abortion doctor. And as always in these cases, Griffin was supported and encouraged by a sinister network of anti-abortion activists who take care to keep their hands clean.

That same extremist element is still operating today at levels higher than ever outside of clinics. Michael Griffin needs to stay in jail, and his helpers need to stay away from clinics. Here are a few stories of the daily fears that abortion providers and clinic escorts experience:

“I have faced mobs of protesters screaming at me. I have been video-taped. And I have had my car vandalized. Although these have all been horrible experiences, I consider myself lucky that I have not suffered worse at the hands of anti-abortion extremists. As a physician providing safe and legal care to the women of this country, I should not be forced to worry about the situation getting worse.”

“My children and I have been very much traumatized by Michael Griffin and his hate-filled cohorts’ cruelty over the years. We’ve been followed home, physically assaulted, repeatedly threatened with death, our property destroyed, our electricity sabotaged, and have been terrorized in many other ways. I was surprised and very scared when I heard Michael Griffin was even eligible for parole.”

“In 2015 my then 15-month old daughter’s photo was featured on an anti-abortion website that included my office address, medical license numbers, and other identifying information. This was not just an invasion of privacy – it was an action designed to threaten and dissuade me from doing my work.”

“In total I have over 32 years caring for Women and their families in simple and very complex medical and social situations, including abortion care, which I have specialized in.  In doing so I have risked my life helping women to be and not to be pregnant, to have and not to have babies.  In doing this work, I have worked on wards that are locked because a patient or patients are being threatened with Domestic Violence, including guns, from an intimate partner.  I have worked in areas where anti abortionists have thrown Molotov cocktails into the office.  I have worked while surrounded by a SWAT team because of a threat.  I have worked in offices that had to be evacuated due to the poison threats received through the mail.   Regrettably, many in society do not understand the complex nature of pregnancy and how it is impacted by social and medical conditions.”

“I used to travel to provide abortion care in areas that were without it. I would try not to use my own name when booking rental cars, and would try to pay cash so the hotel clerk wouldn’t have my credit card information. One particularly scary night was when driving back to the hotel from the clinic, and I suspected I was being followed. I took a long, circuitous route, but didn’t lose my tail. After pulling in to my hotel, I luckily saw the other car continue driving. I tried to calm myself down, and reassure myself that what happened to Dr Gunn wasn’t going to happen to me, but couldn’t shake the feeling. I locked myself in my room and cried.  I wasn’t able to asleep that night until I moved a heavy desk and chair in front of the hotel room door. I figured it might not stop a determined attacker, but would at least slow them down.

Imagine a cardiologist having to go through this to get to the hospital to help a patient having a heart attack.”

“I stand on the sidewalk and document the aggressive older women who elbow and push their way next to a patient while stepping on the patient’s shoes and throwing plastic embryo dolls in their face, to large grown men screaming at scared women trying to enter a medical clinic.  Many of these men and women carry large 4×2 signs as they chase the patients/companions down, pushing, shoving all the while calling them murderers, baby killers. sluts, whores etc.  They jump in front of the patients/companions and stop or walk so slow that the patients are trapped between the hordes of protestors. The volunteer Clinic escorts, with hands usually in their pockets or by their sides, use their bodies as shields to protect these patients and companions from this harassment all while never speaking to any of the protestors. The protestors retaliate by calling these Clinic escorts “Deathscorts”.  They continue their verbal diatribes against the volunteer escorts mentioning personal details about the escorts they could only have found through extensive research into the escorts personal lives. They take down their license tag numbers and harass them on social media. They have made and carry large signs with pictures of the Medical clinics physician’s names and sometimes home addresses calling them murderers. They post this information on their social media sites.  They have done this with Clinic staff as well.  They yell thinly veiled threats of “Your time is coming, sooner than you think” and the like.  In my opinion, lately, the tone on the sidewalk has escalated greatly and I question the mental stability of several of these protestors.  I watch as they quickly excite each other into a fever pitch.”

To read more about the horrifying Michael Frederick Griffin story check out this Slate article.


Daily Links:

This Clinic Stays Open: One of America’s Only Late-Stage Abortion Providers Won’t Let Sidewalk Screamers Shout Him Down 

Planned Parenthood Sues Over Missouri’s Insane Medication Abortion TRAP Laws

The Waiting Is the Hardest (and Most Dangerous) Part: How Abortion Waiting Periods Endanger Patients

Lack of Exposure: Google Won’t Let ExposeFakeClinics Tell the Truth About Fraud CPC’s 

Contraception Causes More Abortions… The Latest in the Funhouse Mirror of Conservative Propaganda

Partial Fix: In Iowa Getting Rid of Bad Abortion Laws Isn’t Enough to Guarantee Access


America Keeps Stepping in Scott Lloyd, and Now He’s Stuck to Our Shoe

Scott Lloyd, the nasty Trump ghoul who tried to hold the pregnant immigrant girl hostage in an abortion reeducation unit, is still forcing refugees to submit to CPC brainwashing. The revelation is he’s on record urging “savvy lawmakers” to require women to get men’s permission for abortions.  Read the gruesome details in this vital piece from Business Insider.


House GOP to Women: You’re Free to Have Your Abortion—Just Do It Yesterday

Just in time for Halloween, the House GOP has raised a horror show of a bill that makes abortion virtually illegal after 6 weeks. Even if by some miracle you KNOW you’re pregnant at that point, GOP economic policies will make sure you don’t have the money to get an abortion. This excellent article by Monique Judge of the Root explains the shit-splatter that this bill would cause.


Fact Free Speech? Supreme Court Might Decide That CPC’s Have the Right to Punk You!

Trick or Treat? The fake CPC’s in CALIFORNIA are challenging a law that just requires them to let their hostages—I mean clients—know that such things as contraception and abortion even exist! Now that fight might be going to the Supreme Court—check out this article in the LA Times. Here at LPJL we’ve been working hard to Expose Fake Clinics that masquerade as abortion providers. We’ll see if SCOTUS is willing to stand up to them.


More Lies! Roe v Wade Is No Big Deal—The States Will Be Happy to Police Your Uterus

The propaganda spew crew at the Federalist are once again propping up the phony notion that a repeal of Roe v Wade would just let those good friends of repro rights in the statehouses decide what happens in our wombs. Hello! Legislatures across the country are already passing laws banning abortion when such laws are unconstitutional! If they get the green light, that’s the end of abortion rights!

Alabama Refuses to Be the Worst Place on Earth for Repro Rights

And finally, a little good news—and it’s from ALABAMA (of course!) A court has blocked a law against the safest and most common 2nd trimester abortion procedure and banning clinics near schools.  That kind of bat-shittery is par for the course in a lot of states, so it’s great to see a little less deep shit in the Deep South.  


Just In! 2017’s Hottest Trends In Hating Women 

Patriarchy much? Here’s an effing infuriating rundown of all the ways that women are being run down in the new Trump World. From attacks on repro rights to sexual harassment, under this new regime, you’ve got a target on your uterus.


Undocumented People Who Need Abortions Should Never Need “Papers” This Isn’t the Westminster Dog Show, it’s Healthcare FFS  

Papers? PUH-LEEZE! Living under Trumpism is ten times as hard when you or your loved ones are undocumented—especially if you’re trying to access repro care or want to join the fight for your reproductive rights. It takes guts to demand control over your uterus when they’re threatening to send all of you away.


Google Hang Out and Get An Abortion, Just Leave the Dog Ears Filter Off

OK—one more time! Abortion is SAFE. Medical abortion is SAFE. Telemedicine is SAFE. All of them are MUCH SAFER than childbearing. The only thing that endangers you are the puritan fucks who are lying to you about abortion safety. 


The Devil Wears…Whatever the Fuck They Want To Their Abortion

The Devil Made Them Allow Me to Do It! Abortion access gets easier in Missouri—YES, MISSOURI!—thanks to… oh, I don’t know… maybe SATAN! Read how a lawsuit from the Satanic Temple is helping clinic in Missouri reopen!


A Dumpster firex over at the Federalist Did An Article About Comedy and Abortion and Didn’t Include Us and We Are PISSED.

What the fuck does a pro-abortion comedy activist cell need to do to get a little rightwing media hate in this shit-hole? The Federalist did a rant about pro-choice comedy and didn’t say anything about Lady Part Justice League? Hey Federalist, next time we’re railing about neo-fascist propaganda tools, we’re not gonna even MENTION you! 



“When interacting with the website, I saw that they offered an “online pregnancy test” (that’s not a thing) which was a survey of questions. Once I submitted it, it didn’t give me “results” other than to text/call the business for a free consultation which means providing them with my cell phone number.”

Read the rest of Amber’s review on Google and/or Facebook and UPVOTE (bonus points for upvoting on both platforms!). Pregnant people searching for ALL OF THEIR OPTIONS in Binghamton deserve to get the facts – not fake “tests” and “results.” With close to 4,000 CPCs in the United States, calling out these  fake clinics is going to take a LOT of teamwork. There’s no “i” in CVS – (a place that ACTUALLY has legit pregnancy tests – unlike this Crisis Pregnancy Center.) Let’s get upvoting and reviewing! 

LPJL Daily Takedown – September 14th, 2017

People Are Not Wedges. A Wedge is a Shoe or a Cheese Increment. Read How Abortion and Bodily Autonomy Are ACTUALLY the Lefty Glue!

Come together, right now—over bodily autonomy! Far from being a wedge issue, like abortion opponents like to say, here’s someone explaining how repro-rights concepts like bodily autonomy can UNITE the left! EveryBODY has a body—it’s right there in the word! Read this and go hug someBODY. 


All The Single Payers! All the Single Payers – Fuck the Hyde Up OH OH OH 

Can’t HYDE much longer! Bernie Sanders SINGLE PAYER healthplan covers the cost of abortions for EVERYONE—finally shit-canning the Hyde Amendment that bans federal money for abortion care. Now we need to MAKE IT HAPPEN. 


The Man Who Got Into Politics to Loosen Pesticide Regulations Visited the White House to Propose a Nationwide Abortion Ban

America is a fetal heartbeat away from a virtual ban on abortion! Top anti-choice slimers including former House Speaker and infamous pest exterminator Tom DeLay just met at the White House to push a bill that outlaws any abortion after a fetal heartbeat is detected. That’s 6 weeks in—before you know you’re pregnant! DeLay is a former exterminator, and now he wants to exterminate abortion rights!


Getting Insurance Coverage For Abortion Care is Harder Than The D*cks Getting Discounted Viagra 

There’s no movement to block insurance for hard-dick pills, but opponents of repro-rights are making it VERY hard to get insurance for contraceptive and abortion care from private insurers. Those hard dicks have consequences, assholes! 



The Same Places That Lure Women Into Creepy Sonogram Vans Surprisingly Don’t Comply with State Law Requiring They Put Sign that Says They LIE TO PATIENTS 

Liars gonna lie! And if you pass laws making them tell the truth, they’re going to lie about doing it. New York City needs to get on the ass of the asshole Crisis Pregnancy Centers that flaunt city laws about lying to patients!


LPJL Daily Takedown – July 28th, 2017

When We Say “We Won’t Go Back” This is the “Back” and it’s Terrifying

BACK IS NOT AN OPTION: For a horrifying look at what went on in those back alleys in the days before Roe v Wade, check out this chilling interview with a provider from those early days when abortion was available in only a few states. Desperate women were suffering and many were dying in unspeakable ways. The impetus to legalize came from clergy who had to deal with shattered lives, and doctors who had to deal with shattered bodies. That’s the nightmare scenario that crusades like those being held in Texas, Missouri, Kentucky, and all over the country are leading us toward. And we can’t go back there.


Sex, Drugs, and..What it Means for Getting an Abortion

THE PERFECT SHITSTORM—What happens when restrictive abortion policies meet the opioid epidemic? It’s not pretty for patients or providers, as this HuffPo piece about the situation in Alabama makes clear. As our good friend, heroic provider Dr. Willie Parker points out, opioid users tend to come for help later in their pregnancy because their addiction disrupts their cycles to the point they don’t know they’re pregnant. And many don’t have the money to pay for an abortion. Some patients have to be turned away because their addiction will nullify the use of pain relievers. What’s needed is compassion and common sense—two things in short supply among the conservative lawmakers in Alabama. 


Talking White Male Privilege and a JumboTron..Nope Not a Baseball Game…Guess Again

PIG SCREEN: Hey, if you’re going to have a shit-show, why not have it in JUMBO-VISION! We have been writing all week about the lunatic members of Operation Save America, who have travelled from all over the country to spend this week shrieking at patients outside of KENTUCKY’s LAST CLINIC STANDING. Now they have upped their terror techniques by setting up a giant jumbotron to broadcast videos of abortion procedures in public spaces! Interested viewers can go downtown outside of Louisville’s Metro Hall where the Ghoul Theater is currently running. Downtown workers on a lunchbreak have no choice!

 Once Again Texas Answers the Question “How Bad Could it Be?”

RECAPPING THE KNEECAPPING: Ever since conservative lawmakers in TEXAS went off on an anti-abortion rights bender a few years ago, they’ve done so much damage to women’s health that a brief recap is in order. Here’s a chilling one, courtesy of the New Yorker. Starting in 2011, Texas cut family-planning funds by two-thirds. In 2013, they banned Planned Parenthood from women’s health programs, costing the state MILLIONS in NINE-to-ONE federal funding grants. The upshot? Teen abortions and teen births are both on the rise in Texas, despite going down nationwide. The maternal mortality rate in Texas has DOUBLED to 35.8 deaths per 100,000—the worst in the developed world! And the Trump administration wants to do to the country what theocratic lunatics have done to Texas. We just turned back an assault on the ACA—KEEP FIGHTING! 



Shout out to Reproaction for protesting at a fake clinic in Columbia, Missouri!

It’s a beautiful weekend to get riled up! Join us by going to and learn how to write a review and repost so that we can all upvote your review. Pro tip from the pros: your review has to be from an interactive experience, so call or check out the fake clinic’s website before you post!

#Exposefakeclinics has been working all over the country- let’s keep it up!


Vagical Update

After 8 weeks, 15 cities, 18 clinic visits, 592 thank you postcards, hundreds of gold tattoos, and 4 real tattoos…the Vagical Mystery Tour came to an end..for now!

It’s hard to quantify all of the amazing experiences we had on tour. This was an experiment to see if we could get communities activated through comedy shows, and the experiment WORKED. You all signed up to be clinic escorts or sent thank you notes or committed to staying informed on the anti-choice bullsh*t going down in your state and we THANK YOU!

Stay vigilant, America…we’ll be back!